#and perhaps it was intended also as a joke if it's really a ratio. I still think it's just Newton but yes I'm writing this down just in case

[tanadrin]

The Botanist

Rahal called on Yaru at midmorning, when the springtime Kayuban air was still fresh and sweet. The walk down to the Botanical Institute was unusually pleasant, and put her in mind of nothing so much as Opara in the autumn, and the exuberance--and folly--of her youth. The Institute's doorkeeper directed her to a shabby little building behind a row of small greenhouses that was unassuming enough that Rahal assumed she had the wrong door, even as she knocked. There was the sound of footsteps within, and then the door opened; a pair of spectacled eyes, peeking out from below a wild mass of graying, curly hair looked up at her.

"Yes?" the man said curtly.

"I'm looking for Yaru," Rahal said.

"Oh?" He seemed to want more than that.

"I'm from the Order," she said.

"Oh! The archivist!" The man stood aside and waved her in. "I'm Yaru. I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you until later. Come in, come in."

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Rahal said. The inside of the building was no more attractive than the outside. A stack of old boxes and a chair missing a leg took up most of the cramped vestibule. The windows were dusty and did not let in nearly enough light; a couple of cramped hallways led off to what looked like small offices, or large closets. Yaru himself was small, thin, and energetic, but it felt like Rahal that he, too, had been abandoned to this forgotten part of the Institute. But Sabir had been quite clear; she seemed to think Yaru's work was of the utmost importance.

"Not at all," Yaru said. "Only preparing tomorrow's lecture. They have me teaching students again. Ghastly business."

"You don't like teaching?"

"Oh, what's even the point? They're all blockheads. Waste of time, if you ask me. That door on the left there," Yaru said, pointing.

Yaru's office was in fact surprisingly well-kept, although not spacious, and full of the clear morning light. He had made an effort to dust, it seemed, and his stacks of books and papers were neatly organized, even as they seemed to occupy most of the available surfaces. His desk was only a small writing table in the corner; the only other chair was serving for the moment as an ersatz side table. He plucked up the books off it as he came in, and gestured for her to sit.

"Excuse the clutter," he said. "I don't get many visitors."

"Weren't you a student once?" Rahal asked.

"Oh, no," Yaru said, with a faint hint of disgust. "Well. Maybe yes, in a sense. But not like these ones. They're just here for an *education*. No love of learning at all."

Rahal was bemused. She genuinely could not tell whether his horror of the undergraduates was real, or just a very dry joke.

"Sabir said you'd joined the Institute a few years back?" Rahal said conversationally.

"Yes," Yaru said. "Well, I've been in this office since I came to Kayuba. A friend found it for me--it's nice and quiet and out of the way. But three years ago they were clearing out some old equipment and found me hiding back here, and told me I could only stay if I joined the Institute properly. And then last summer thy tracked me down and told me *all* faculty had to teach. Still, I've been managing to avoid it until recently. But I think I overreached by scheduling my last lecture for three in the morning in the rector's house."

Rahal smiled. "Did anyone turn up?"

"Goodness, I hope not. Tea?"

Yaru produced a small kettle from inside his desk and began hunting for a plug.

"Please."

"So what can I do for you, Walks-With-Dawn?"

"Rahal is fine," she said. Her name sounded ungainly to her in the southerners' tongue; she preferred to leave it untranslated. "Sabir sent me to you."

"And how is our mutual friend? I didn't see her when she was in Kayuba last. A pity"

"She's busy these days." Still trying to make up for my stupidity, she did not say. "Traveling a lot. Worried about the future. Though I suppose that describes most of the Order."

"But not you?"

Rahal bit down a dark thought. "No," she conceded. "Not me."

"You Archivists have always puzzled me," Yaru said. "More pessimistic a profession I have never seen. If the Holy Ones themselves showered gold upon the city and raised all our beloved grandmothers from the dead, you'd purse your lips and mutter."

"Someone's got to look to the future, I suppose."

"I always thought the future could take care of itself."

When the kettle finally boiled, Yaru poured two small cups of flower tea, the traditional Kayuban sign of hospitality. Rahal nestled her cup in her hand and enjoyed the warm, fragrant scent.

"So Sabir had some grim purpose in mind when she sent you to me, I suppose," Yaru said.

"Perhaps," Rahal conceded. "She said your work was important."

Yaru cocked his head. "Did she? She should tell the rectorate that! Very important, to be funded generously, and not to be disturbed for any reason! They might listen, coming from the Archive."

Rahal smiled. "I'll pass that along. She didn't offer me any details, though. What *are* you working on?"

Yaru scratched his head. "I never know how to talk about it to non-specialists. Well, not that anybody asks about it, besides my wife. Do you have a background in biology, Rahal?"

"I have the general Archivist's training in scientific matters," she said. "But my own specialty was always more... human systems."

"Economics?"

"More like, politics and diplomacy."

"Ah, the real black arts, if ever there was one," Yaru said with a nod. "No wonder that in darker days they called your kind the wielders of witchcraft."

Rahal laughed. "You understand us better than most."

"So what does the Archive generalist training cover? Cell biology? Ecology? Anatomy?"

Rahal leaned back in her chair and tried to remember her youth and the hours and hours of lectures she'd sat through. Natural philosophy, as they called it in the Archive, had not been her strongest subject. "Some of each," she said.

"Sabir tells me you learn all these things quite differently than we do in the outside world."

"That's true. You learn from principles. We learn texts."

"What do you mean?"

"For you, science is an inquiry into the world out there," she said, gesturing at the window. "For us, it is something that lives in books. And each book stands on its own."

This seemed to really puzzle Yaru.

"That seems like quite a strange approach to knowledge," he said.

"It depends on what you see as the ends of knowledge," Rahal replied.

"Understanding the world, improving human lives?"

"Well, yes, On that the Archive agrees. But... well, how do I explain this. You know the history of the Archive?"

"Vaguely, I suppose. It's old. Nearly as old as civilization."

"Older," Rahal said. "Maybe by a lot. And because it's old, and because its mission can only be fulfilled on the timescale of many lifetimes, every facet of its existence is oriented around long-term survival. That's a feature we don't talk about much for obvious reasons."

"It makes you sound like jealous, knowledge-hoarding, power-hungry tyrants. Which some say you are."

"And which we can be--if we have to. But mostly, we are preservers. We are advisors when we can be, but still librarians when we cannot be, and we are careful and slow, and we think everything to death, because too often we have seen the bitter consequences of recklessness--our own, or someone else's."

"But you're also only human."

"Yes," Rahal said. "These days, we're only human. The point is, we're not empiricists, although we do care about the work of empiricists. We preserve it, where we can, but this is the preservation of works. The masters teach Uranti's Six Mathematical Classics, not mathematics. We learn Furan's treatises on medicine, not medicine itself. The difference is drilled into us early in our education: the thing we learn is not the world outside, which is rapid and changing, but the world within the work we keep alive. It is for those to whom we make these texts available to judge their merits."

Yaru nodded. "I understand. You are only human, and no less a product of our fallen age than I am. And the Archive must preserve things it cannot possibly understand."

"Indeed," Rahal said. "We have preserved theological essays for centuries, thinking they were intended to communicate spiritual truths, only later to understand they were physics handbooks, and vice-versa. We preserve designs for machines that no civilization on Ogandraa can build, and maybe never could."

"Sabir herself told me she knew of a kind of mathematics that pertained only to an electric calculating machine that does not exist," Yaru said.

"Just so."

"So you would say your knowledge of biology is..."

"Scattershot."

"Very well. But you know the cell, and the genetic principle?"

Rahal nodded.

"We distinguish within the cell between the albuminous and non-albuminous materials; the latter are the secondary element of living tissue, while the former are considered primary. The albuminous materials are those that coagulate under heat, or condense within acid, and all are composed of the same ratio of elements: thirty one parts hydrogen, twenty parts carbon, six parts carbon, and five parts nitrogen, in large and diverse configurations. By hydrolysis, the albumins can be decomposed into their constituent parts, organic acids of the nitrogenic classification. By the careful separation of albumins, and by the measurement of their individual component acids, we can distinguish and name them, despite their common chemical formula."

"And this is what you work on?"

"It's the foundation of my work--the intersection of chemistry and botany. Before I came to Kayuba, I was primarily interested in separating and identifying the chemicals operative within plant cells. Albuminic and carbonic chain analysis was my specialty. Some of my work was directed at improving agriculture, while some of it was purely investigative."

"And now?"

"As you might expect, not every organism has the same albumins, or the same carbonics. The carbonic which forms the cell walls of plants, for instance--it's not found in animals at all, and it's totally indigestible by humans. We have already for a number of years used chemical distinctions, as well as physical ones, to distinguish the greater families of living organisms. Sessile, sunlight-capturing organisms, for instance, can be divided between the plants with a chemical environment similar to our own, the endoflora, and those with a chemical environment dissimilar to our own, the xenoflora. From the former come all food crops, and all plants which our livestock prefer. The latter are almost uniformly nutritionally useless."

"Native and non-native."

Yaru smiled. "Theology lies outside my competence, unfortunately."

"It's hardly a religious doctrine."

"I know in the north it is a view more universally held. We southerners tend to be a little more skeptical of folklore, I suppose. But I suppose it's no surprise the Archive tends to be conservative in these matters."

Rahal didn't press the point; it wasn't relevant to the conversation. She sometimes forgot that the descent from the stars was considered unverifiable mythology in the south, or downright superstition. She motioned for Yaru to continue."

"In any case, a similar division does exist within some, but not all, other domains of life. The funguses, for instance, are endochemical only. Land animals--motile, sensory--are endochemical and xenochemical, except in the sea, where they are mostly xenochemical. The disease-causing bacteria are uniformly endochemical, as are all viruses. I made a discovery a few years ago, which might be of some comfort to those of a more traditional turn of mind. You see, it had always been thought that one line of evidence against celestialism was that xenochemical and endochemical organisms still have certain albumins in common, albeit in small amounts."

"I've heard this," Rahal said.

"I discovered that this was not so."

Rahal raised an eyebrow. Yaru continued.

"If you take a sample of tissue from a human, a springgrass flower, or a mushroom, and separate its albumins and carbonic chain molecules, you *will* find small amounts of certain chemicals common across all three. More in the case of the two endochemical organisms, of course, many more, but even within the springgrass flower there is some similarity. Identicality, in fact--of the albumins found in humans and springgrass, the component acids exist in identical ratios."

"A common genetic inheritance? From an early split between the two domains of life."

"That's always been the anti-celestialist argument, of course," Yaru said. "But it's not true."

"What then?"

"A separate organism entirely. Actually, a whole group of them."

Rahal leaned forward in her chair, intrigued.

"They can be cultured separately, in small amounts: an intracellular symbiont that is chemically distinct from both of the other two major domains of life on Ogandraa. Microscopic only, and quite unlike either the endobiota or xenobiota. Indeed, based on some tantalizing clues, I predict this third domain may not form cellular structures at all. If humans are indeed not native to this world, these are probably the original inhabitants. And, I believe, they are the solution to a longstanding mystery in ecology. Do you know the remote signalling problem?"

"I think--something about wildfires?"

"That's the canonical example, yes. How does the springgrass know to hide its buds when the fire is hours away and upwind? But it goes deeper than that: if you isolate the springgrass bud entirely, seal it in its own jar with its own atmosphere and soil, insulate it from all outside heat, but burn a nearby patch of ground, it will still bury itself in the soil. There are similar phenomena elsewhere in nature, however. Raspflies will swarm if killed in large numbers, even up to half a mile away. The larvae of bloodfish begin to emerge in freshwater lakes when the mating frenzy happens at the river mouth, even if it's hundreds of miles away."

"Some kind of chemical signal?"

"The most current research on the subject indicates that such a signal would have to travel at about forty miles an hour, upstream. It's possible--but rather unlikely. My belief is rather that it is this acellular, symbiotic organism which plays a role in the remote signalling mechanisms that are omnipresent in nature. When supplied with the correct stimuli, it is capable of emitting energy, even visible light. Although as you might expect, the effect tends to be very weak. Yet it can propagate rapidly."

"How rapidly?"

"More than rapidly enough to let the bloodfish larvae know to emerge and make room for the next generation."

"That's fascinating. Genuinely. But I still don't understand why Sabir put us in touch. She seemed to think it was more than an ordinary scientific breakthrough that I should be aware of."

"Ah, well. I think I know," Yaru said. He shuffled some papers around on his desk, looking for a blank sheet, and picked up a pen. He scrawled a short mathematical equation on it.

"As I said, the effect is principally very weak in nature. A stronger effect, using purified chemicals or an electric current, can be obtained in the laboratory. An even stronger effect can be produced by the application of a specific modulated electromagnetic field, and the stronger the field--and the more accurate its modulation--the greater the release of energy, and the further its propagation. Two curious facts have emerged from my experiments.

"The first is this: these mysterious microorganisms contain an enormous quantity of chemical energy." He picked up the still-warm kettle and set it on his desk, between him and Rahal. "Our most vigorous organic explosives produce about enough energy that burning a few grains of them would raise the temperature of the water in this kettle by oh, let's say, a degree and a half. A small handful--enough to blow my office door off its hinges and make us both deaf for a few hours--would boil it."

"And these organisms are comparable?"

"No. They contain far *more* energy. I've attempted to exhaust small samples of all their energy available for signalling, and I can't do it. Based on the amount of energy they can output, they must be able of storing phenomenal amounts, far more than can be stored in an ordinary chemical bond. Enough that if the water in this kettle were frozen, and you could unlock the energy in an equivalent small weight of these microorganisms, you could vaporize the ice to steam--about eight hundred times the energy of a blasting explosive. At least."

"Goodness."

"This is the other curious fact." He slid the piece of paper over to Rahal, and tapped a variable circled in the middle. "Based on signal propagation experiments, an induced energy release by a very precisely modulated electromagnetic signal would release N units of energy from the activated sample, which would signal the release from nearby organisms reduced by a factor based on distance and the strength of the original activation signal. For any signal below a certain original activation efficiency--represented by this factor, k--the energy release falls off exponentially, and eventually disappears into the background noise of normal intercellular signalling. That behavior holds true up to a k of 1."

"And above that activation efficiency?"

"As you can see, k is part of an exponential term. In theory, at k the energy release propagates at full strength indefinitely. How far, I don't know. Maybe clear around the planet. Maybe you can make Ogandraa ring like a bell. *Above* k, the energy release increases, indefinitely, with each activation releasing more than the last."

"What are you saying?"

"That in the presence of the right electromagnetic signal, you could induce an energy release that would make our biggest bombs look like holy day sparklers. You could annihilate cities. Boil seas. Set the world aflame."

Rahal looked at the hastily-scrawled letter in the exponent position without saying anything. Then she folded up the piece of paper and slipped it into a pocket.

"There are practical difficulties, of course," Yaru said. "The richness of the sample matters. How much energy it actually contains--you *can* deplete the signalling mechanism, and it only replenishes very slowly. And the fact that the world is still here, and doesn't regularly blow itself up is indicative that if this phenomenon is possible, it's not at all trivial to unlock. It doesn't occur naturally."

"But such a signal wouldn't need to be natural."

"No. Just because it doesn't occur doesn't mean it *can't* occur."

"This is a weapon."

"Quite possibly. Quite possibly the most dangerous one ever conceived."

"Who knows about this?"

"Right now, very few people. But the possibility is latent in nature itself; and the remote signalling problem is being studied elsewhere. Even if I burned every scrap of my research and decided to become a house-painter, it would be a few years at best before someone working in Ptrar or Lareth stumbled across the same thing."

Rahal was feeling a little dizzy. She set her untouched tea down on the desk and folded her arms, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"You called the Archive conservative earlier."

"Hm? Oh yes, I suppose I did. Celestialists and such. No offense."

"None taken. Do you know what the difference between being conservative and being Conservative is?" She used the Kayuban emphatic particle to make the distinction clear.

"I imagine you have one in mind."

"The Archive is cautious, deliberate, and wary of change. We're not empiricists, it's true, but we're not hostile to empirical methods. We've seen both the good and the bad that can result from such methods, and we work to increase the former at the expense of the latter. But in times of crisis, in times of upheaval and war, I worry less about the conservative approach and more about the Conservative one."

"Are you speaking politically? Scientifically? Artistically?"

"All, and none. This is something that cuts across political factionalism and scientific squabbles, and runs to deeper attitudes, attitudes that in my experience are only loosely connected to specific beliefs or aesthetic choices. I'm talking about the...." She struggled for the right Kayuban word. "We call it the-turn-inward-and-reject-the-legible-world-impulse in the Archive. The urge to fall back on the oldest and worst parts of human nature. The parts that are still frightened and soaked in blood.

"There are histories in the Archive which--well, they're not secret. We'd tell you if you asked. But we don't usually volunteer them, because they are dark and frightening and usually not very applicable to novel situations. In Kfaris, when it fell, a madness consumed the people for ninety-nine days, and in their madness the people claimed the motions of the stars ruled their fates, that the world outside the walls of the city was a deceit of the devil, and they devoured every written word in the city, even if it meant smashing stone plaques to pieces and choking down the dust. In Chopakim, when it was beset by a festering plague, every fourth son was flayed alive in the city's plaza, and their skins were given to frightened mothers to wrap their babies in--this, it was said, would spare their infants from disease. In Lalai, on the eve of war, a beggar said that God had made him king; and when the enemy came, he ordered the gates opened, and the army to lay down its spears, and every living soul was slaughtered as a result.

"I walked here this morning, rather than take the streetcar, because it was a fine spring day. Peaceful, fragrant, with a shining sun. Kfaris, Chopakim, Lalai--each of these cities was, perhaps on some day not too long before disaster, sun-painted and happy. Each, like Kayuba today, was once part of a civilization that looked to make the world legible to them: through ethics or empiricism or philosophy, or some combination of the three, and very often succeeded. Each was once possessed of honest ignorance and superstition, and slowly worked to shrug these things off, and rise above them--until one day they proclaimed they wished to partake of that struggle no more, that to behold the-world-as-it-is was too frightful, and they would prefer to inhabit only the world of their hearts. Each was ruined; and each suffered terribly in the aftermath."

"And what lesson do you draw in this particular scenario, where I have shown you a novel path to ruin?"

"No lesson in particular. But I am afraid, Yaru. I am afraid some spirit wiser than both of us, than any soul in Kayuba right now, showed each of those cities the truth; I am afraid that, in their very instance on ignorance they might have been right."

"Do you really believe that? That there can be justice in ignorance, happiness in letting our fears govern us?"

"Of course not. I wouldn't be an Archivist if I did. And although I'm not a priest, it's not rare in my vocation to have a certain kind of faith. But I do have my doubts sometime."

Yaru sighed.

"So do I, my friend. So do I."

[upontheshelfreviews]

Whenever I discuss Sleeping Beauty with someone who doesn’t share my enthusiasm for Disney, they have an irksome tendency to get it muddled with Snow White; their excuse being “it has the same plot”. I’ll admit, there are some surface similarities that even the most casual viewer can pick up on: a fairytale where a princess is forced into unconsciousness and wakes up with some necking, the comic relief and villain being the most beloved characters, a little frolic in the forest with animals, the antagonist plunging off a cliff, you get the idea. In fact, Sleeping Beauty even reuses some discarded story beats from Snow White, mainly our couple dancing on a cloud and the villain capturing the prince to prevent him from waking his princess. Yet despite that, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are two wholly different movies shaped by the era and talents of the time.

I’ve discussed how Walt Disney was never one to stick to a repeated formula, no matter how successful it was. He must have noticed the parallels between his first movie and this one, but decided to make one crucial change for Sleeping Beauty that would forever differentiate the two: the look. We all know the traditional Disney house style: round, soft shapes, big eyes; charming as it was and still is, Walt was sick of it after several decades. Meanwhile, artists like Mary Blair and Eyvind Earle were producing gorgeous concept art that rarely made a perfect translation into the Disney house style.

Walt wanted to make a feature that took the pop artistry of their designs and made the animation work for it instead of the other way around – which brings us to another animation studio that was doing well at the time, United Pictures Animation, or UPA.

UPA didn’t have the kind of budget Disney normally had for their animated projects, but what they lacked in fluidity they made up for in style. Watch The Tell-Tale Heart, Gerald McBoing-Boing and Rooty-Toot-Toot to see what I mean. UPA were pioneers of limited animation, taking their scant resources and creating some striking visuals with bold geometric designs. Through this, they defined the look of 50’s animation. Though perhaps unintentional, Sleeping Beauty comes across as Disney’s response to UPA, or what would happen if UPA had the funds they deserved. The characters’ contours are angular but effortlessly graceful, defining their inherent dignity and royalty. And the colors, ohhh the colors…

Because of the immense amount of work required to animate in this difficult new style (and in the Cinemascope ratio, no less) as well as story troubles and Walt barely supervising the animation studio now that he had his hands full with live-action films, television, and a theme park, Sleeping Beauty had a turbulent production that lasted the entirety of the 1950s. For a time, Chuck Jones of Looney Tunes fame was set to direct. Director Wilfred Jackson suffered a heart attack partway through production and Eric Larson, one of the Nine Old Men, took the mantle from there before Walt Disney replaced him Clyde Geronimi. And even after that, Wolfgang Reitherman teamed up with Geronimi as co-director to get the film finished after no less than three delays. Also, Don Bluth got his foot in the door as an assistant animator for this feature, beginning his short-lived but impactful tenure at Disney. Did all this hamper the movie, or did they succeed in what they set out to accomplish?

Well, one of the reasons why this review took so long was because I had a hard time not repeating “MOVIE PRETTY” and “MALEFICENT AWESOME” over and over. Make what you will of that.

The story begins as most fairy tales do with your typical king, Stefan, and his queen suddenly blessed with a baby girl after years of wishing for a child. They christen their daughter Aurora (middle name Borealis, localized entirely within their castle) and throw a huge celebration in her honor. People come from all over the kingdom to pay homage to the princess and OSMKFKSBFHFGILWBHBFC…

Movie pretty…

Movie pretty…

MOVIE PRETTIEEEEEE…

John Hench, Academy Award-winning special effects man and art director, turned Walt on to the idea of basing the look of Sleeping Beauty on classic medieval artwork. Thanks to him and Eyvind Earle’s insanely detailed designs and backgrounds, this is one of Disney’s most visually distinct and beautiful films. A single still from this feature wouldn’t feel out of place up in The Cloisters.

Among the party guests is King Stefan’s old friend King Hubert (Bill Thompson) bringing his young son Prince Philip. Stefan and Hubert wish to unite their two kingdoms and formally announce Philip’s betrothal to the infant Aurora.

“We were going to do it during the second trimester, but we decided to wait until she was more mature.”

By the way, your eyes are not deceiving you. That is Aurora’s mother, Queen Leah, alive and well and named. And frabjous day calloo callay, she even gets some lines! The most common joke about Disney princesses is that they don’t have moms (even Ralph Breaks The Internet went out of its way to highlight that), so as a hardcore Disney fan who often has to put up with this generalization, Leah’s existence leaves me feeling vindicated.

Once that happy revelation is out of the way, we’re introduced to our main protagonists.

Oh, you thought I was referring to Philip and Aurora? Nonononono, my friends. THESE are the true heroes of Sleeping Beauty, the Three Good Fairies.

The fairies started off as one-note side characters sharing the same personality. Think pre-Ducktales-reboot Huey, Dewey, and Louie in dresses. But the studio had a difficult time giving Aurora more depth and was having a lot more fun developing the fairies. Naturally, they became so fascinating and appealing that more screentime was given over to them. Now the story’s carried by three wonderfully fleshed out ladies who are distinct in both looks and personality: Flora’s the pragmatic tradition-adhering leader, Fauna’s the sweet scatterbrain who mediates, and Merryweather’s the feisty young upstart.

With the plot now focused on characters who held a traditionally minor role, it’s easy to read this as a perspective-flipped version of the fairytale, but there’s more to it than that. Remember in my Clash of the Titans review how I mentioned the gods literally play chess using the heroes as pieces? I tend to view the main conflict of Sleeping Beauty in the same way. The Three Fairies and Maleficent are in a constant game of good vs. evil, moving Aurora, Philip, and the rest of the royals as pawns in their plans. There’s plenty of plotting and intrigue, with both sides constantly guessing and second-guessing the other’s next maneuver, and even if you’re already familiar with the story’s trajectory you’re still left on the edge of your seat as it inches towards the fiery climax.

And dare I say it but…the fairies and their power dynamic make this Disney’s most feminist film. Yes, really. You could argue that some of the other animated movies from the Renaissance and Revival period have more notable, stronger female protagonists, and many of the live-action remakes try to be woke without really grasping the concept, but consider this: The cast of Sleeping Beauty is mostly female, the leads aren’t objectified in any manner (that is if you count Aurora as a supporting character), nor does their gender factor into their competency, each one differs in age and body type, and most of them are working together towards a common goal as opposed to against each other. Name a movie in the past decade that does the same and still manages to be entertaining (no, really, I’d love to see it). There’s even one scene that unintentionally provides great commentary on the divides in the feminist movement, but more on that later.

Flora and Fauna bless the baby with beauty and song respectively which are accompanied by a short chorus and some sumptuous graphics. I don’t think I need to reiterate that when this movie goes extra with the visuals, it GOES EXTRA with the visuals. Next comes Merryweather with her gift. To this day, no one knows what Merryweather intended to give Aurora. Flora’s the most traditionally feminine of the three so her giving Aurora beauty comes as no surprise. By comparison, Merryweather is the most forward (or unconventional, depending on your point of view). I wouldn’t put it past her to favor Aurora with intelligence, or humor, or passion, or creativity or humility or confidence or decisiveness or physical fitness or great swordsmanship or telekinesis or ice powers or one million YouTube subscribers or comfort in her female sexuality.

Me personally, I think I’ve got the best gift of all:

“O Princess, my gift shall be…getting all reviews posted on time for once!”

Alas, before Merryweather can bestow such a wondrous quality upon the child, she’s interrupted by a horny party crasher.

Maleficent. The Mistress of All Evil. Chernabog’s right-hand witch. The Disney villain all Disney villains strive to be. She has it all – the looks, the poise, the power, the laugh, the cunning, the ruthlessness! She doesn’t even need to sing a song because she’s already awesome enough without one. Marc Davis’ gothic design cuts a fine figure and Eleanor Audley’s subtle icy voicework is trés magnifique. As much as I enjoy Audley as Cinderella’s evil stepmother, Lady Tremaine was but an appetizer in comparison to the four-course banquet of pure villainy that is Maleficent.

This leads to a small point of contention some viewers have with Maleficent in spite of hitting top marks elsewhere: her motivation. Putting a hit out on a child for not getting invited to a measly party? Not exactly compelling, is it? And yes, it isn’t a deep motive…is what I would say if I wasn’t well-versed in folkloric tradition. In the original fairy tale and the movie (though it isn’t outright stated in the latter), the party for Aurora isn’t just your average royal kegger, it’s a christening. Back in ye olden days, christenings were very big deals. To not receive an invitation to one was a grave insult, so not extending an invite to your semi-omnipotent magical neighbor is just asking for trouble. In the fairy tale’s defense, no one had seen the evil fairy for years and assumed she was dead, though I can’t imagine how nobody thought Maleficent wouldn’t find about it eventually.

“You dare to deny me, foolish mortals? Very well, then! I shall have my own christening! With blackjack! And strumpets!”

Maleficent is proof that sometimes you don’t have to have an elaborate backstory, a god complex, a tragic past or the unfortunate luck to be on the wrong side of a conflict. Sometimes all you need is some magic, brains, class, and a whole lot of flair to be a perfect, intimidating, and unquestionably iconic villain.

Basically what I’m saying is these movies never happened. Got it?

Maleficent is disarmingly polite over being snubbed, even after Merryweather bluntly tells her nobody wanted her to come. She even brought her own gift for the baby – sixteen years of life cut short by the prick of a spinning wheel spindle, because why change into a dragon and destroy everyone all at once when you can draw the torture out over an agonizingly long time and deliver the coup de grace in the prime of a young woman’s life? That’s how Maleficent rolls, baby. She could dole out capital punishment when she has to without batting an eyelid, but causing human suffering is her bread and butter.

Stefan begs the fairies to undo Maleficent’s curse, but it’s too strong for them. Flora and Fauna insist, however, that Merryweather can use her gift to lessen the spell’s potency. Now instead of dying from that fatal prick, Aurora will sleep until she receives True Love’s Kiss™. Stefan’s not one to throw caution to the wind though, so he orders all of the kingdom’s spinning wheels to be burned in the meantime.

I just pray his kingdom’s economy wasn’t based on textiles otherwise they’re screwed.

As the peasantry celebrates Guy Fawkes Day several centuries early, the fairies ponder their next move. They’ve been around long enough to know that removing spinning wheels from the equation won’t put a damper on Maleficent’s scheme. This scene is incredibly effective in establishing two things:

Maleficent’s near-omniscient presence in the film

How well the fairies’ differing  personalities play off each other

Maleficent rarely miscalculates her opponents, and that guile puts her one step ahead of the heroes, making her one of the few Disney villains to nearly reach their goal. The only mistake she makes in the entire movie is trusting her henchmen to do their jobs when she isn’t directly supervising them, though that’s more on them than her. The different methods the fairies propose to deal with Maleficent fantastically illustrate what kind of people they are. Fauna believes she’s just a miserable soul who could be reasoned with if they talk things over. Merryweather would rather take the fight to Maleficent and turn her into a toad. Flora, however, is wise enough to know Maleficent’s too wicked to plead to, too clever to bargain with and too strong to face head-on, so their best course of action is to focus on protecting Aurora through any means necessary. Her initial idea is to enchant the princess into a flower (her namesake is her specialty, after all), but Merryweather reminds her that Maleficent enjoys creating bitter frosts just to kill her flowers.

“Well we could try that but stick her in a castle with a beast for a while…nah, that’ll never work.”

Yet never one to give up, Flora alters the plan so they’ll raise Aurora as a peasant girl out in the woods. This means disguising themselves as humans and giving up magic for sixteen years so as to not attract Maleficent, but that amount of time is like twenty minutes to the fair folk. Stefan and Leah reluctantly agree to the plan, and the fairies spirit little Aurora away from the castle that very night.

Sixteen years later, Maleficent is infuriated that her minions have failed to locate Aurora, even more so when one reveals that they’ve spent the whole time looking for a baby instead of a maturing woman. In an interview with the Rotoscopers podcast, Don Bluth called Maleficent a very flat antagonist because she surrounds lackeys dumber than her so she could be the smart one among them and, again, her supposed lack of motivation. But come on, let’s not entirely condemn the bad guys for having too much faith in their underlings. It’s difficult to find minions smart enough to carry out orders but dumb enough to stay unquestioningly loyal. Usually you have to register as Republican in order to get some.

Maleficent gets her anger out in the most therapeutic way – throwing lightning bolts at her orcs, awesome – then leaves the job of finding Aurora up to her trusty raven Diablo. We then finally see the grown-up Aurora herself, whom the fairies renamed Briar Rose as a nod to the Brothers Grimm version of this tale.

I know I’ve made the occasional case for the princesses from Walt’s era compared to the present day, and yet I have a hard time defending how…I don’t want to say bland. Bland would mean there’s nothing interesting about Aurora, and that’s a lie. She’s gorgeously designed and drawn, and even in her peasant dress she has an air of elegance and sophistication. She carries herself like a queen; her innate royalty reveals itself in her graceful movements. Mary Costa also gifts her with an excellent set of pipes. Hearing her song echoing through the forest is nothing short of magical. She’s a flower child who can talk to animals. She has dreams of escaping her adopted aunts’ loving but stifling care and being allowed to grow up, see the world, actually talk to people, and even find a life partner. She has some strong potential. It’s not that Aurora’s boring, she’s just not quite as developed as we’ve come to expect our animated female protagonists to be. I’m grateful for what we’ve got, but I only wish we could have more. What was her childhood like? How did she learn to communicate with animals? When did the fairies trust her enough to let her spend time out on her own? Did the fairies ever subtly teach her lessons in royalty through lessons and games? Heck, nobody bothers to keep her informed about Maleficent or her curse, and they act surprised when she’s shocked to learn she was a princess the whole time. I want to see what Aurora could have been like if she had known the truth already and what kind of steps she would take to defend herself. Blame the source material for this; it’s difficult to write a compelling main character when she’s supposed to sleep through most of her story.

The fairies send Aurora on a fetch quest so they can plan a surprise birthday party for her. Merryweather wants to bring their magic wands back out for the job, but Flora insists on taking no chances now that they’re in the home stretch. Fauna gets to live her dream of baking an elaborate cake (it’s thanks to her referring to a teaspoon as a “tsp” that I do it too), and Flora insists on making Aurora a gown fit for a princess using Merryweather as a dummy. And we also get one of the best burns in the Disney canon:

Merryweather: It looks awful! Flora: That’s because it’s on you, dear.

The fairies fall into reminiscing over raising Aurora and get teary over having to let her go soon. I see where they’re coming from, they’re the ones who raised her for sixteen years. They must have so many fond memories, not to mention they put all that work into learning to properly raise a child let alone live like normal human beings seeing how two of them still can’t sew or cook without magic. I wonder what that was like –

No, NO, you CGI abominations DO NOT exist! Go back to the fires from whence you came!!

“Ugh, I’m gonna need something strong to expunge that from my eyes.”

There we go.

Aurora wanders through the forest, drawing out the usual bevy of cute woodland critters with her singing. She also catches the attention of a grown-up Prince Philip (Billy Shirley) who’s more dashing and considerably less blonde than he was sixteen years ago.

By this point, the Disney animators were far more confident in their ability to draw realistic but expressive leading men, hence Philip’s expanded role from the story. He’s also the first Disney prince to have a personality; not a terribly deep or defined one, but it’s a step up from his nameless plot-device predecessors. There are some signs of him being a hopeless romantic, he gets a few funny lines here and there, has a sturdy friendship with his horse Samson, and is fiercely determined when it’s time to kick some ass. He does have the same problem as Aurora in he randomly decides to stop talking for the rest of the movie once he reaches the midway mark (at least Aurora has the excuse that she’s sleeping for that remainder), but I suppose you could chalk this up as to him wanting to spite Maleficent with his silence.

The animals steal some of Philip’s clothes so they can pretend to be Aurora’s dream prince. Aurora plays along as she sings the movie’s standout song, “Once Upon a Dream”. Philip and Samson watch until he smooths his way into the dance. Once Aurora discovers the switch, Philip gets a little too up in her personal space for my liking, constantly grabbing her hand so she doesn’t run off and pulling her closer to him. Not as horrible as what the prince does to the sleeping princess in the original story (a questionably consensual kiss is a trifle compared to how the scumbag of a prince treats her there), but still a bit iffy.

“It’s a good thing my aunts taught me to never go anywhere without a loaded pistol taped to my back.”

But once Philip backs off a little and joins in her song, they both dance together and OEHSGBJSGBLL…

I think I’m going to need surgery to get my jaw off the floor back into its proper place thanks to this movie.

As per Disney tradition, Aurora and Philip’s waltz means the two are head over heels in love with each other. But when it comes time to finally exchange names, Aurora panics and runs away, though she sticks around long enough to tell Philip to meet her family at the cottage that evening.

Back at home, the party preparations aren’t proceeding as planned. Flora’s dress looks as good as my attempts at dressmaking, and Fauna’s dessert wouldn’t feel out of place on Cake Wrecks.

A fed-up Merryweather reads Flora and Fauna the riot act and convinces them to finally take up their wands again. This produces more desirable results, though Merryweather still gets stuck with cleanup duty.

Enchanting a broom to come to life and do your dirty work? I don’t see this going wrong in any possible way.

Things start to go south when Flora and Merryweather argue over the dress color and it escalates into a full-blown wizard’s duel. This gag was supposedly based on the animators’ arguments over what was Aurora’s proper dress color. I think they should have compromised and combined both colors to make purple, which would go lovely with Aurora’s violet eyes, but what do I know. I’m just the illustration major writing a blog. Unfortunately, while the fairies remembered to cover every door, window, and crack that could expose their magic, they overlooked the fireplace. The sparkly residue of Flora and Merryweather’s fight fly up the chimney, alerting Diablo to their hideaway.

Going back to what I said earlier about this movie providing some commentary on feminism, consider this: Flora is obsessed with pink, a traditionally female color, and she gives Aurora an attribute that is oft preferred in a woman but not the most important quality, beauty. Merryweather, on the other hand, is all about blue, a color usually geared towards boys, and she has much more common sense and practicality about her. Though Merryweather and Flora are able to put aside their differences in personalities and approaches for a common goal, it’s when they refuse to compromise and begin prioritizing which color – ie. which ideology and extension of themselves – that they want Aurora to step into that they lose sight of what’s important, and allow everything they worked for to collapse on itself. It’s played for laughs very well, sure, but if not’s symbolic of the dichotomy between traditional femininity and modern sensibility that tears apart the feminist movement then I don’t know what is.

The fairies manage to fix their messes in time for Aurora’s return. She’s thrilled with their gifts but shocks them all when she announces her new boyfriend is coming over for dinner. They come clean about her heritage and betrothal to Prince Philip, and Aurora runs up to her room in tears over the fact that she’ll never see her one true love again. That and her entire life has been a lie and she’s being carted off to meet parents she knows nothing about to marry a man she’s never met and rule an entire kingdom with no prior experience or knowledge. But mostly the true love thing.

Meanwhile, Stefan and Hubert are making wedding plans over wine with “Skumps”, the preferred toast between me and my friends. Also adding to the humor is a minstrel who keeps stealing sips until he literally drinks himself under the table.

This was also his way of getting through the Black Plague, co-opted by the rest of the world six hundred years later.

Philip returns and Hubert goes to greet him. He thinks his son is thrilled at the prospect of marrying Aurora but is disappointed to learn that he’s fallen for an anonymous peasant.

“At least tell me if she’s royalty in disguise so you don’t elope to Sicily!”

Philip rides back into the woods for his big date, leaving Hubert with the unenviable task of breaking the bad news to Stefan. As for Aurora, the fairies smuggle her into the castle and prep her for her homecoming. She’s still blue over having to ghost her forest hubby though, so the fairies give her some time to herself.

Biiiiiiiiig mistake.

So imagine you’re me, growing up watching this movie on tape on a television set with a very standard but not spectacular sound system. Then years later you download the remastered soundtrack and give it a listen while you’re falling asleep. You’ve got the whole score memorized, the volume is nice and low, it’s all good.

And then, just as you’re drifting off, you hear a ghostly voice singing in your ear “Auroraaa…Auroraaaaa…”

That reminds me, I haven’t had a chance to talk about the music yet, haven’t I? Forgive me for waiting so long to do so but my reaction to it is equivalent to the visuals. The score is taken straight from the Sleeping Beauty ballet by Tchaikovsky, the same composer as The Nutcracker, and it is lush, sweeping, sumptuous, just…

While George Bruns was mostly faithful with how the score was represented within the context of the ballet, at certain points he took the same approach as The Nutcracker Prince and rearranged the music order to underscore totally different scenes to staggering effect. The beautifully ominous music where Maleficent appears as a ball of green flame and leads the hypnotized Aurora to her doom? It’s from one of the ballet’s divertissements where Puss in Boots dances with his girlfriend. But tell me which is more fitting for a musical composition such as this – two cats pirouetting around each other in a crowded ballroom, or eerie pitch-black spiral staircases illuminated by green fire as a cursed princess inches closer to her dark destiny against her will?

The fairies realize their error and frantically search the maze of secret passages for Aurora. Though the princess resists Maleficent’s commands for only a moment, they are still too late to save her from fulfilling the curse. Maleficent gloats and leaves the fairies to wallow in their failure. It’s made even worse as the merrymaking from the oblivious revelers below ring out while they put Aurora to bed in a tower and mourn over her. It’s heartbreaking: they raised and loved her as if she were their own daughter, and they still couldn’t protect her. Everyone talks about “Baby Mine” and Bambi’s mom as huge tearjerkers, but why is this scene constantly forgotten?

Stupid onions, stupid stupid onions…

Fauna and Merryweather can’t even begin to imagine how heartbroken Stefan and Leah will be, but Flora has a solution: put the kingdom to sleep along with Aurora until she is woken up. I understand her wanting to spare Aurora’s family some pain, but conking out an entire principality for god knows how long to cover up their failure? AND at a time when Europe was all about invading and conquering itself? Are we sure this isn’t just part of Maleficent’s overarching plan for revenge? This sounds more like something she would come up with instead of the leader of the good guys.

“So what happens if one of the neighboring kingdoms decides to attack while everyone’s sleeping?”

“Then we’ll put them and their armies to sleep, too.”

“And once Aurora is saved, both kingdoms will immediately wake up to find themselves thrust into a war they’re barely prepared for, is that correct?”

“Oh, you’re right, that’s a terrible idea.”

“Finally, thank you.”

“I’ll just turn them all into flowers.”

“THAT’S NOT AN OPTION!!!”

The fairies flitter about the castle grounds spreading their spell over the unwitting royal court, even putting the candles and sconces out. We have another reprise of the “Gifts of Beauty and Song” chorus now altered to sound like a lullaby, providing an interesting bit of symmetry between it and its earlier use in the film. Whereas it first underscored their blessings upon Aurora, now it plays as the fairies are giving the “gift” of sleep to the entire castle.

While Flora knocks out the throne room, she overhears Hubert muttering about Philip eloping with a peasant girl and she makes the connection. The fairies speed to the cottage just as Philip arrives there. But once again Maleficent beats them to the punch. Her goons ambush Philip and she watches them wrestle and bond him with fiendish glee.

You magnificent, kinky bitch.

Maleficent was only out to capture the one man who could break Aurora’s curse; the fact that he’s really the son of her nemesis’ allies is just icing on the cake. Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather resolve to rescue him from Maleficent’s fortress in the Forbidden Mountain.

Some movies reach the brink of greatness only to falter when it comes to the final act. Sleeping Beauty is not one of them. Everything that happens from the moment we slowly zoom in through the purple mist on to the Forbidden Mountain itself up until the storybook closes is perfection. The perfectly paced action, the animation, the music, Maleficent’s hideaway in all its decaying glory (I swear it’s like Jean Cocteau meets Frank Frazetta meets Giotto) all make for the climax of climaxes.

The fairies shrink to insect size and silently sneak through Maleficent’s creepy domain, narrowly running into guards and gargoyles at every turn. They traverse the stronghold until they find her overseeing a hellish bacchanalia in honor of her supposed victory.

“My old gaffer would have a thing or two to say if he could see us now.”

Soon Maleficent gets bored and goes to “cheer up” her captive. Then we have it: The Moment.

I’ve talked about this before, that one small, devious step further the villain takes to make themselves more heinous in our eyes. It’s the Wicked Witch taunting Dorothy with visions of Aunt Em. It’s the Beldam hanging Other Wybie’s remains. It’s virtually everything Heath Ledger’s Joker does. And it is this simple scene where Maleficent details what she plans to do with Philip. She spins “a charming fairy tale come true” of Aurora sleeping without aging, waiting for her prince to come to wake her. And Philip will escape the dungeon, ride to her rescue and prove true love conquers all – in one hundred years, when he’s a broken old husk of a man on the brink of death. DAMN. If you want to know why Maleficent is considered the best of all the Disney villains, it’s not just all her previously praised qualities, it’s her sheer sadism and the pleasure she takes in it.

The fairies enter and free Philip once Maleficent departs. The course of true love never runs smoothly though, so they arm him with the Shield of Virtue (licensed by Carefree Maxi-Pads), and the Sword of Truth to aid in his escape.

“So, why’s it called the Sword of Truth?”

“Anyone who’s subjected to it speaks only the truth…as they bleed out and die, of course.”

“Cool, cool. On an unrelated note, I think I’m gonna go to DC for my honeymoon.”

Diablo sounds the alarm and the Battle With the Forces of Evil kicks off with Philip slashing his Sword of Truth through Maleficent’s goons.

“I steal lunches from the break room fridge!” “I broke wind last Tuesday and blamed it on the dog!” “I cried like a little girl during The Good Place finale!” “I only wash my hands for NINETEEN seconds at a time!”

Philip makes his getaway on Samson and the music reaches truly operatic levels as Maleficent does everything in her power to end him. Yet Philip soldiers through it like a boss. Crumbling mountainsides, Maleficent hurling lightning from the sky and summoning a forest of thorns to block the way? Fuck that shit, he’s gotta go save his girl.

Then, as Philip cuts his way through the briars, Maleficent looks at her watch, realizes it’s No More Fucking Around O’Clock, zooms over to the castle, throws down the most intimidating challenge ever  –

“Now you shall deal with me, O Prince, and all the powers of HELL!!”

– and with that, she takes her final form: a massive fire-breathing dragon.

Every Disney villain who’s gone kaiju in the final act owes everything to this gorgeous terrifying beast. The dragon is an awe-inspiring unholy fusion of style, power and darkness. There’s a reason why she’s the final boss in Fantasmic; the chance to watch a live dragon battle is too cool to pass up.

Speaking of battles, Maleficent’s dragon form was animated by Woolie Reitherman, who previously brought us such gargantuan monster clashes as the T-rex brawl in Fantasia and the escape from Monstro The Whale in Pinocchio. And when you have a dragon confronting a fairytale prince, well, you know what’s coming.

Maleficent backs Philip on to a cliff surrounded by flames, leaving him only one desperate shot. With a little extra magic from the fairies, he throws his Sword of Truth at Maleficent and it plunges right into her heart.

“I liked…Frozen 2…more than the first one…”

Maleficent’s spells die with her, clearing the way for Philip. He gives Aurora that wake-up smooch and everyone in the castle slowly rouses, owing their inexplicable simultaneous twenty-minute blackout to the unusually strong wine.

He can attest to that fact.

The royal families are happily reunited, and the film ends on Flora and Merryweather fighting over Aurora’s dress color yet again as she and Philip waltz together on the clouds using animation Beauty and the Beast would borrow thirty-two years later.

Sleeping Beauty is a movie I can never have on in the background because the moment I look up from my work I am spellbound by it. Do I need to elaborate on how this is one of the most beautiful looking and sounding movies Disney’s ever produced? Sleeping Beauty is the swan song of Disney’s first golden age of animation. For better or for worse, their animation process would switch to the rough, cost-cutting Xerox process starting with their next feature, 101 Dalmatians, and few films would reach Sleeping Beauty’s level of gorgeousness ever since.

Though a massive financial and critical hit on release, it wasn’t enough to make up for the monstrous production costs, not unlike Fantasia. Thankfully, home video sales revived interest and made it Sleeping Beauty of the top-selling VHS tapes of the decade, cementing it as a bonafide classic. It’s one of my favorites from Disney for its stunning visuals, gorgeous music, phenomenal villain and overlooked but great cast characters. Revisit it if you haven’t already.

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this review, please consider supporting this misfit on Patreon. Patreon supporters receive great perks such as extra votes for movie reviews, movie requests, early sneak-peeks and more! Special thanks to Amelia Jones, Gordhan Rajani and Sam Minden for their contributions!

Artwork by Charles Moss.

Screencaps from animationscreencaps.com

March Review: Sleeping Beauty (1959) Whenever I discuss Sleeping Beauty with someone who doesn't share my enthusiasm for Disney, they have an irksome tendency to get it muddled with Snow White; their excuse being "it has the same plot".

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 74: 10 Short Films about 1-A

Presenting the next installment of my on-going, nextgen, MHA fic! Earlier chapters can be found here

“What’re you watching, dork?”

Toshi looked up from his desk to see his sister, Hana, standing in the doorway.  “Oh, just a video Shota sent over.  He wanted to know what I thought.  It’s Sequoia Rose and Kestrel fighting some of the Sons of Stain… Looks like they were planning some kind of raid on the local Agencies before they routed them out.”

It was a pretty impressive fight.  But the Sons of Stain were no joke; they were followers of the late Hero Killer, who still believed Hero Society was corrupt and worked to bring it down.  There was something very satisfying about seeing them get beaten.

Hana rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how you can just watch all that stuff in your free time.  Dad’s a Hero.  Mom’s a Hero. More than half the adults we know are Heroes.  You’re studying to be a Hero and so are all your friends!  Don’t you get tired of it?”

“No?” he tried. “It’s just all… so cool!  Besides, Rose and Kestrel are still pretty young!  There’s a good chance I might get to work with them someday, so it helps to know about…” She rolled her eyes again and Toshi trailed off.

“Do you even hear yourself?”

“You know,” he said, “just because you pretend you’re too cool for this kind of stuff doesn’t make you cool.  We used to watch videos together with Dad!  You used to run around in a Froppy onesie!”

Hana looked him dead in the eyes.  “Meh.” He actually felt a chill go down his spine, but pressed on.  

“Oh, come on!  You wanted to be a Hero when you were little! What changed, Hanners?  Your Quirk’s way stronger than Grandma’s! It’d be perfect for Hero work!”

“Maybe I don’t want to spend my life beating people up, dork!  You ever think of that?” Hana looked annoyed.  He’d known for a while now her interest in Heroes or in being one had been waning, but her disinterest seemed to have picked up speed since she became a teenager.  She did want to be a doctor, which was still helping people, but…

“But you could be a Rescue Hero, like Mom!  Or a Medical Hero, like Aunt Eri!  Your Quirk would be great for that!  You could move rubble or people, maybe even help with injuries....”

Hana pointed at him and he felt a slight shove in his chest, nearly knocking him out of his chair.   “Tosh,” she said. “Let it go.  Not everybody wants that life.”

“Even with a punch like that…” Toshi began, but the fire in her eyes silenced him.  “Okay, okay.  I’ll let it go.”   He smiled. “You know we’ll all be proud of you, no matter what you do, right?”

There was another eyeroll.  “Could you be any sappier?  I’m surprised you aren’t crying.”

“I don’t cry that much!”

“Suuuure….”

“But you know, though,” he said, “Aunt Eri and Katsuma got through med school way faster with way less debt…”

***

“You’re what?” Katsumi growled, staring at Dad.

Dad looked up from where he was packing his suitcase.  “Going to the Training Camp,” he said.  “The other teachers think it’ll be a good idea if I go and get an idea of what you kids can do.”

She threw up her hands in irritation.  “And you were planning on telling me this when?”

He shrugged.  “Didn’t find out until a couple days ago.”   He’d been commuting back and forth to U.A. a lot lately, getting things set up so he could start teaching the next term.  She still wasn’t sure how she felt about that or how she felt about having him around and in her space that often.  “And I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

Scratch that.  She was relieved to still have him around after his injuries.  But she still wasn’t sure how she felt about him being their teacher.  Aunt Itsuka was a homeroom teacher, not a subject teacher, so it probably wasn’t as bad for Kana as this would be, but maybe she’d talk to her and see how she dealt with it.

She crossed her arms. “So you’re leaving Tai alone with Papa to eat take out the whole time we’re gone?”

He gave her a look. “I’m not that dumb.  Tsukushi’s given them a standing invitation to dinner while we’re gone.  She’ll make sure they’re fed.”  

Leaving Papa and her little brother to the Monomas?  Dad was desperate.   Well, Papa and Tsukushi got along.  And Tai loved Takeru.  It was really only Dad and the elder Monoma who fought, usually over stupid stuff like hedges and an ever escalating “niceness” war that probably wouldn’t end even when they moved.

“Don’t worry,” Dad said. “I’ll give you your space.  I’m not going to be looking over your shoulder the whole time or anything.”

She held his gaze, then shrugged.  It wasn’t like she had anything to hide anyway.  It was just the principle of the thing.  “Yeah, all right.”

He grinned after that. “Don’t think I’m going to go easy on any of you, though.”

“Wasn’t asking you to.”

“Not even Izumi.”

The words caught in her throat.  She could handle All Might pushing them.  His jocular demeanor meant that even when he was driving them the hardest, it was hard to get mad at him.  Even Aizawa’s pushing was a serious, focused thing.

Dad would push as hard of any of them, probably harder.  It was, she admitted, what they all needed, how nuts things were right now.  He’d force them to go beyond their limits, because he knew no other way.

Could she handle seeing her best friend pushed like that?  She’d been trying hard to let Izzy face her own challenges and not step in immediately to protect her.  Even since the Sports Festival, she’d been more acutely aware of how Izzy could take care of herself.  Dad knew that about her.

“She’ll appreciate that.” She’d have to try and do the same.

***

KA-BOOM!

The device exploded, leaving a large scorch mark on the opposite wall of the testing range.  Automated systems activated, with arms extending from the wall and spaying fire-suppressant foam over the flames. Later, a cleaning robot would emerge and take care of the mess.

Flipping up her protective mask, Mother let out a laugh.  “Aw, I thought for sure that baby was going to work!  But didja see the size of that explosion!  Wowee!”

Sora joined her in the laugh.  “Most spectacular!” she agreed.  “Perhaps we should adjust the fuel to power ratio by twenty-percent for the next version?”

Her brother shook his head. “If we are intended to make a rocket-propelled gauntlet for our costumes, then we will require sufficient force to do any damage.  Better to reinforce the material to survive the forces involved.”

He was incorrect about that. “Material strength will only go so far,” she told him.  “And reinforcing the material will add additional weight, which will diminish speed.”

The incorrectness persisted. “Incorrect,” he said.  “The advancements being made with lightweight alloys should prove sufficient to…”

Both of them frowned, then turned to face Mother.  At the same time, they began, “Mother tell him/her that I am correct!”

Mother let out another laugh.  “Babies, babies, babies,” she said.  “I think it’s adorable when you have a science fight.  And as much I’d love to weigh in on this one…”   The clock on her design desk chirped with an alarm.  It was loud, shrill, and impossible to ignore.   Father had insisted on her having one like that.  It would even trigger back-up alarms if not silenced with the correct passcode.  It was ultimately necessary to allow Mother proper time-keeping.

She silenced the alarm. “I promised your father I would have you both in one place so he could talk to you.”

At that, the door to the lab snapped open and Father walked in.  He had his projector laptop under one arm.  Sora looked at Tensei nervously.  It was rarely a good sign when he brought that out.  It would mean he had a topic for discussion that he considered important enough to require slides.  

Father regarded them seriously and set his laptop up.  He pushed his glasses up his nose.  “As you know, you will be leaving on Monday for the two week Training Camp.  While I trust Aizawa and your other chaperones to maintain order, I also still remember the third year camp my own class undertook.   Denki and Kyoka were somehow able to sneak away to go skinny-dipping.  The resultant pregnancy scare that resulted a few weeks later is not something I wish to see repeated with either of you or your class.”

Tensei brought a hand up.  “Father, seeing as how Takuma and I are both male, that would be a highly unlikely outcome, should we choose to engage in such behavior.”  He went a bit red.  “Even though we will not.  May I be excused from this discussion?  It seems as though it would be better focused on Sora.”

The traitor!  She made a mental note to hide his soldering kit later.

Mother, however, just shook her head.  “Let him have this.  He spent all of his last day off making these slides.  I tried to distract him, but he resisted my feminine wiles.”

“Mei!” Father erupted. “That is not an appropriate thing to say!”

“I thought it tied right in, Tenny.”

Father went a bit red, as he often did when Mother teased him.  “Regardless,” he said, “as you are both now in relationships, I feel this next stage of talks to be highly necessary.”

The presentation projected from the laptop’s holograph lens began with Relationships: How to Make Smart Decisions That Will Ensure a Successful Future for You and Your Partner.  Looking carefully, she could see the slide was numbered as one of one hundred fifty.

It was going to be one of those presentations then. Father certainly did love to lecture. Takuma, she understood, but how could he not trust Toshi?

“Perhaps we should be taking notes?” Sora ventured.  “But I believe I left pen and paper in my room.  I should go and get them!”

“As should I!” Tensei agreed quickly.  

Father seemed to be searching their faces for signs of deception, but nodded.  “Very well,” he said.  “Ten minutes, then we will begin!”

More than enough time. She ran out of the lab as fast as her legs would carry her, Tensei hot on her heels.  

***

Carefully, Kimiko closed her suitcase.  She had enough clothes to get her through the Training Camp and a few of the medical textbooks Doctor Izumi had provided her with.  According to Doctor Izumi, since she was progressing well with her studies, she’d be able to receive additional medical training at the camp.  The studying was often long and arduous and cut into her gossip-wrangling time, but she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t also rewarding.  It was an application of her Quirk that didn’t involve sneaking around, didn’t make being invisible the be-all and end all of what she was.

There was a knock on her door.  “Come in, Daddy,” she said.

Her door slid open as Daddy padded inside.  He smiled. “How’d you know it was me, ‘miko?” As always, he was able to look her right in the eyes, something almost no one else could.  Even Kenta had trouble with it sometimes.

“Pretty distinctive knock,” she told him.

Daddy smiled again. “You’re getting good at observing,” he said.  He nodded towards the shelf where some of her medical books still were.  “You’re getting good at lots of things.”

“Oh, Daddy,” she said. “You’re going to make me blush!”

He chuckled at that. “You’ve got everything you need? Sunscreen?  Extra changes of clothes?  Reflectors?”

“Yes, yes, yes, …wait, no!”   Kimiko ran to her dresser and pulled out her reflective headband, armbands, and gloves.  They were useful when she was going places in the dark, otherwise it was very hard to see just her clothing.  They stood out when she couldn’t.

She stashed them in her suitcase.  “Whew! You’re a lifesaver, Daddy!”   She threw her arms around him in a hug.

“Offf!”  Daddy grunted, returning the hug.  “I still need to breathe, ‘miko!”

She let go, but gave him an affectionate punch on the arm.  “Oh, Daddy!”

“Smart, pretty as your mother, and a heck of a right hook,” Daddy said, beaming.  “No wonder you’re going to make a great Hero.”

“Daaaaaddy!” she wailed, arms flailing.  “You’re too much!”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

He always did believe in her.  When she’d told her parents she wanted to be a Medical Hero, get her paramedic’s license, they’d both been supportive, but Mom had been more cautious, telling her about all the hard work that would be involved.  But Daddy, Daddy had immediately thrown his full support behind her.

She gave him another hug. “Thank you.”

After the hug, he crossed his arms.  “Now, you’re going to behave yourself on this trip?”

“Of course, Daddy!”

“You’re going to pay attention to Aizawa and the other teachers?”

“Of course, Daddy!”

“Not going to hit your friends too much?”

“…I’ll try, Daddy!”

“Not going to spend the whole time shipping your classmates and friends?  Or trying to arrange a ‘summer romance?’”

“…I’m only human, Daddy.”

“’miko…” he began, a chastising tone in his voice.

“Fine,” she said, stomping her foot.  “I’ll try and keep it to a minimum.”

“That’s all I ask.”

***

Shopping in the upscale boutique, Takiyo reached for the designer shirt. Another hand did so at the same time. Wrapping his glowing fingers around one side of the hanger, he tried to take it.  But the other hand, ending in sharp looking claws, wrapped around the other side and tugged too.

He looked to his right and shot them a glare, finding a boy his age, with a mane of purple hair and a feline-ish cast to his face.  He was very pretty, with a style that suggested the kind of trying too hard to look like he wasn’t trying hard to look that good. “Pardon,” Takiyo said, “I had it first.”

“Oh, please,” the boy said.  “I saw it first.  It’ll look better on me anyway.”

Takiyo wondered if he could distract the boy by using his Quirk like a laser-pointer, but he doubted he was cat-like enough for that.  “There must be something wrong with your eyes if you think that’s true.”

“Mmm-hmm,” he said, his yellow, vertically-pupiled eyes moving quickly.  He tapped a finger against his chin. “U.A. student, right? First year?  I do remember seeing a glowing boy during the Sports Festival.”

Takiyo’s thoughts darkened at that.  He hadn’t stood out nearly as much as he would have liked and he was certain he’d only ended up on an Internship with Cellophane because the class’s parents had arranged for no one to be left out.  Still, if he had made enough of an impression for someone else to remember, even someone infuriating…

He put his free hand on his hip.  “If you remember me, then you should remember how stunning I am.”  He almost regretted his words.  He had told Koda he was trying to be nicer to people.  She would be disappointed in him and he hated to think of that.  He could already see her disappointed face in his mind…

The boy shook his head, sending his mane waving in what had to be a practiced motion.  “You keep telling yourself that.”  He snapped his fingers, then licked his lips. “Now the boy who took first… that’s a different story.  Though my friend was rather partial to the girl who took second.  But nobody was talking about you, honey.”

Neither of them had let go of the shirt in the meantime.  It was the last one left in that color and style and he was not backing down.  “Regardless,” Takiyo said, “none of it changes the fact that I had my hand on this first.  It’s mine.”

The cat-boy laughed, but did release his grip on the shirt.  “I suppose it’s the duty of the pretty to do everything they can to help the less fortunate.  And you, my friend, need a lot of help.”

Takiyo gritted his teeth, feeling his glow intensify for a moment.  “Must you be so infuriating?” he demanded.  

The boy laughed as he walked away.  “Oh, you’ll see just how infuriating I can be, honey.”

What did that mean?

***

“Up!  Up!”

Takuma looked down to see his little sister, Moji, tugging at his pant leg.  She looked a lot like a miniature version of Mom, with pinkish skin and horns, topped by dark, fluffy hair.  At only two, she didn’t have a Quirk yet, but he was sure it would be trouble, whatever it was.

With a grunt, he bent down and picked her up.  She wrapped her arms around him and he planted a kiss on top of her head, causing her to giggle.  “Did you come to see your favorite big brother? Or did you just want a snack?”

She gave this serious consideration.  “Snack!”

Takuma laughed and shifted her so he was only holding her with one arm.  “Okay, hang on, I think we’ve got goldfish crackers around here somewhere… Assuming Mom hasn’t eaten them all.”  At four months pregnant with twins (Or as Dad like to refer to them, “Players to be named later.”), Mom had developed a lot of cravings.

“Snack?” Moji repeated, more insistently.  She had a bit of a one track mind sometimes.

“I’m getting it,” Takuma told her, finding the small serving pouches.   He set her down, ripped the top off, and handed it to her.

“Snack!” Moji said again. “Thank you!” Her cravings satisfied, she walked off, leaving him alone in the kitchen.   She dodged around Mom as they passed each other in the doorway.

“Hard to believe you used to try and sell your brothers,” she said.

“In my defense, Kenta really wanted a brother.  He would have liked Yamato.”

“You’re not going to try and sell the twins, are you?”

He shook his head. “Nah.  I’ll be out of the house by the time they’re old enough to be trouble.”

“You will, won’t you?” Mom asked.  “Hard to believe you’re almost sixteen.  I must have done something right.  Tsu and Momo were so worried when I had you!  They were afraid I’d leave you at the park or something!  As if!  That only happened two times.”

“Three,” he corrected. “It was raining.”

“Meh, who’s counting.” She crossed the room and pulled a container of ice cream from the freezer.  Mom grabbed a spoon and proceeded to eat directly from it.   She gestured with her spoon.   “So how’s things going with you and Tensei?  Good?  Tell me it’s good.  In-Laws with the Iidas?  Mama’s gonna have a nice retirement!  You know, Training Camps are great for cementing relationships…”

Takuma felt himself flushing a deep purple.  “Nope, nope, nope, not having this conversation!”

Mom cackled at his discomfort.  “Oh, come on. You can’t possibly be traumatized by this.  Your dad and I have always been very frank about sex.”

Too frank, really. And with four siblings and two on the way, too often too.  “Nope, nope, can’t talk, gotta go upload my last video!”

Not entirely a lie; he wouldn’t be able to upload anything while at the camp.  Two weeks without external validation from strangers?  He was gonna die!

***

The Anivoice Agency was not a large organization, but the building was significant.  This was because the ground floor contained an animal rehabilitation center.  Most of the animals had been seized from trafficking operations.  Father was frequently called upon to rehabilitate the animals before they were returned to the wild.  

While there were employees charged with caring for the animals, Father also liked to spend time with them.  Akaya had many memories of helping and was accompanying him today.

They paused before a large enclosure holding a gigantic beast, combining the features of many animals. “How are you, Manny?” Father asked. “Feel like talking?  No?  Okay, let me know if you do…”

Manticore made a soft rumble.  He had been in Father’s care for ten years and was barely closer to regaining his humanity than he’d been the day he arrived.  Yet Father tried.  

Father turned to her. “Looking forward to the Camp?” With other people, Father often had trouble finding his words, but never with her or her mother and brother.

What could she tell him? That the words that had shattered her during her Internship still haunted her? That her classmates were all finding themselves in relationships, while no one had expressed any interest in her? That she was certain that no one would look upon her with romantic eyes?

“I am,” she said.  Not entirely a lie.  She could throw herself into being a Hero. And there would be plenty of time to spend with her friends.  It did not do to devote oneself entirely to romantic pursuits.  Father and Mother had not even begun dating until they had graduated.

She had time.  She could tell herself that.

“I’m glad.”  Father was also not one to push, preferring instead to simply listen.  

Her faith taught her honesty…

“I’m not,” she said. “I haven’t felt truly glad for a long time.”

“I know,” he said. “We were worried you would never tell us.”

“You knew?” she asked.

“You’re like me, easy to read,” he said.  “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“It began during my Internship.”  She told him all that had happened.

“I’m sorry you went through that,” he said. She could tell he was pushing down anger on her behalf. “The world’s filled with too many people filled with hate.  But love wins.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“It did for me.  For Grandma. For her father. Our skin is stone, but our heart still feels.  We’ve all felt it.  You’ve already braver than I was at your age.  Stronger too. I know someone will see you for the amazing person you are.”

“Would that I could be so certain.”

“It will get easier.  Someone will see you and just go ‘wow.’”

“Do you truly think so?”

“I know it.”

She wished she could believe it so easily.  Something about the way Father said it made it sound possible.  “Okay.”

For a moment, the world was all right.  Manticore cooed encouragingly.  “Thank you, Manny,” she said.

***

“It’ll be fine, Mom,” Daisuke said, sitting at the kitchen table, sipping tea.  Mom sat across from him, likewise drinking tea, a nervous look upon her face.  Dad was at work.  

Mom was a tiny woman, dark-haired and serious.  She had an arm-stretching Quirk and had been a graduate of U.A.’s General Education program. She worked in finance, well away from the world of Heroes.  And she was worried.  It didn’t show on her face, but he could tell by the subtle way her teacup shook in her hands, the way her arms kept ever so slightly lengthening and then retracting to their normal length, the way she was blinking too much, her breaths quick and shallow.

“The first time your dad went away to a training camp,” Mom said, setting her cup down, he lost a hand, most of his classmates were injured, Bakugo was kidnapped, and Fumikage almost was too.”

“The hand…”

“And don’t say the hand grew back!”

“…Yes, Mom.”

Mom frowned.  “I’m sorry.  I’m just…  I’m not like Tsu or all the other spouses.  I’m not a Hero.  I worry enough about your dad when he’s out there.  Haru gets it, Mei a little, but… I remember how worried I was when the news broke about what happened at the Training Camp… I don’t think I slept a wink until he called.”

“It’s not going to be like that,” he told her.  “One, there’s no Villains after us.  Two, even if there were, Tokoyami’s Quirk isn’t like her dad’s and wouldn’t go berserk no matter what else happened.  And three, anyone who kidnapped Kirishima-Bakugo would return her within the hour.”  No offense meant to his explosive classmate, but she would be far more trouble to kidnap than anyone would want to deal with.

Mom frowned at that. “I know.  Just promise me you’ll be careful, all right?  Even with your teachers watching out for you, you’re going to be out in the middle of nowhere.  If somebody gets hurt…”

Mom worried a lot.  It was easy to forget sometimes, how many people didn’t have powerful Quirks, how many people weren’t Heroes.  At U.A., it was a bit of an insular bubble for his class, the children of so many Heroes who’d not only grown up as friends, but were all concentrated in one place.  People like his mom had to worry more about Villain attacks, about who would help if something went wrong, about who would get hurt.

His Quirk and his strength made him a frontline fighter and a brawler.  She would worry about him getting hurt no matter what.  But how could he not put his skills to use?  His Extendo-Arms might not have been as flashy as the majority of his classmates’ Quirks, but he had the right skills and the right Quirk to be the right person for someone who needed a Hero.  He didn’t seek fame or glory.  He just wanted to help.  It was enough.

“I promise, Mom,” he said.

***

“Can we have Mighty Burger for dinner?” Taki asked.  Asuka’s dark-haired younger brother was the only one in the family to look entirely human. Though the eleven year old’s shadow never quite seemed to match his movements.

“Yeah!” Nanami added. Her nine year old sister’s wings flapped furiously, though not quite enough to get her off the ground.  

“That would be good,” Asahi said.  Her frog-faced brother, all of thirteen, had not picked up the moodiness that some teens seemed to.  If anything, he was too well-behaved.

With Mom at sea and Dad at work, it was left to her to manage her younger siblings.  Normally, Asahi would be in charge since she’d started UA, but as long as she was there, she was drafted into the role of caretaker.  Not that she minded.  She had already done so before attending U.A and had been doing so for much of the Summer break.  They’d spent much of the afternoon at the library, so that Nanami could check out books and so that Asahi could begin to do research for a project he would have in his next school term, and were now walking home.  

“I don’t think so,” she said.

“Mighty Burger!” Taki insisted.

“Mighty Burger!” Nanami said.

“Mighty Burger!” Even Asahi was joining in now.

Asuka felt the familiar sensation of Frog-Shadow leaving her body.  “Mighty Burger!” Frog-Shadow insisted, joining in the now repetitious chorus of wanting to get take out.

“We have food at home,” she said firmly, using the same tone of voice her mom used to manage them. “I’m making pasta for dinner.”

Frog-Shadow zipped and around and hovered right in front of her beak, eyes wide and pleading.  “Pleeeeeease,” her familiar begged.  “They’ve got Hero Babies toys in the kids’ meals!  I wanna get Baby Ground Zero before they discontinue it!”

“…Why do you know any of that?” Asuka demanded.

“Because Toshi told you about it and I know everything you know.”

Asuka squeezed her eyes shut tightly.  Ever since she had almost lost her, she had made a greater effort to include Frog-Shadow, allowing her to roam freely and speak to her more often.  It had, by and large, been going quite well.  Being included more often had tamed some of her childish impulses, though it seemed that it was still an uphill battle.

“I’m pretty sure you’re outvoted, Asuka.” Taki said.  The shadows around him rippled a bit.

Asahi just laughed, a low, croaking sound that flared his throat pouch.  “Hey now, Mom and Dad left her in charge.  If she says we’re having pasta, then we’re having pasta.”

There were now four pairs of eyes staring at her.  She should be strong.  She should be tough.  She was the responsible adult here.  If she could wrangle her classmates as Vice-Representative, then she should certainly be able to handle her family as eldest child.

And perhaps if she flapped her arms hard enough, she could learn to fly without Frog-Shadow.

“Fine.  Mighty Burger!”

***

“Hi!  Welcome to the Nice Guy Convenience Store!  Let me know if you need help with anything!”  Isamu said to the customer who had just entered.  Ever since he’d returned from I-Island—and he still couldn’t believe everything he’d become privy to during that time—he’d been working in his dad’s store, pitching in where he could.  It was nice and normal and grounding.  The woman grunted and nodded in acknowledgement.

Weird. The dark-haired woman looked familiar.  Where had he seen her before?  That was going to bug him until he figured it out.  She headed to the back to pick up a handful of ready-made frozen meals and a six pack of energy drinks.  

The woman seemed to be eyeing him as well when she returned to the front.  As he was ringing her up, she asked, “U.A. kid, right?  One of Eraserhead’s brats?”

“Ah, yes, ma’am,” he said. Was she a Pro-Hero?  He didn’t think so, though she could have been an Underground Hero.  But not that many people would know who Aizawa was, even if his own face had been on practically every television in Japan during the Sports Festival.

That, mercifully, had started dying down.  The U.A. Sports Festival was a major event, but compared to daily Hero fights and premieres, it was easy to get forgotten by anyone who wasn’t a diehard fan.  

Was he in danger? He let one of his hands behind the counter.  Slowly, he began charging up an energy pulse, just in case he needed it.  He just needed to keep his face neutral…

“Thought I recognized you,” she said.  “You’re the zippy kid who tackled me at the last second.”

Isamua’s eyes went wide. Shadow-Thief?  She was on parole, right?  Aizawa said they earned their paroles…

“Yeah,” he said.  Should he apologize?

She shrugged.  “Just didn’t expect to see any Hero kids working a regular job.  I thought all you Hero types had rich families.”

“Not a Hero family,” he said.  “Just me.”

“They stuck you with all those Hero kids?” Shadow-Thief asked.  “What the hell?  That ain’t exactly fair to you, is it?”

“I’ve already learned a lot from them.”  Isamu shrugged.  A sudden and rare burst of confidence filled him.  “And besides… I think I’m doing all right for myself.”  Sports Festival winner, Intern with Deku, “Hero” of I-Island, even if he wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about that last one, especially the paycheck that had shown up from the Mighty Agency for “services while deputized” with way too many zeroes in it.  At least that adventure had been kept out of the news.  

Shadow-Thief laughed at that.  “You, you’re all right, kid.”  She took the bag with her purchases in it and headed for the door.  “Stay in school kid.  I wanna get to say I was your first take down someday.”

What did it say about his life that getting encouragement from a former Villain was not the strangest thing to have happened to him?

[juleswolverton-hyde]

May 5th: A Conversation with You

Genre: Dialogue

Author’s Note: This dialogue was written in light of yours truly’s mood and mindset lately. The ratio of kudos/likes and reblogs on this blasted platform also does not particularly help. Fortunately, You are always there to talk to.

Masterlist

''Why do you like me? I’m a terrible person who is overly critical, misanthropic, foul-mouthed, perverted, and just a general nobody? Why the fuck do you care?''

''Don’t say that. Yes, you have some views and opinions I don’t agree with, but that doesn’t make me like you less.''

''Why? It should.''

''Because I know what we agree on, what we both enjoy. I might not like coffee, but I like making you one every now and again. Especially when you tell me when it’s good.’

''What a great example.''

''You’re trying to grow as a person, I know that. You try to listen to the multitude of songs I recommend and like, forming an opinion on them as best you can. Try watching the things I like. You’re open-minded about most things though your mind works differently from anyone else’s.''

''In a bad way.''

''No, not bad. Just different. You know things most people don’t, understand literature better than most others. I like how enthusiastic and passionate you get over old poetry and books I’ve never heard of, but I prefer you telling me about them over reading them.’

''It’s silent propaganda to still read them.''

''And I do intend on doing so, though I’ll likely read the works I think I’ll understand best.''

''Wilde and Joyce aren’t for everyone.''

''Yes, but I have you to help me out, don’t I?''

''The Picture of Dorian Gray isn’t that difficult to understand. There are a lot of descriptions, however. Do pay attention to the ones about gardens or Nature in general. They’re important, shows their beauty. That which humankind seems to have forgotten.''

''Can I borrow your copy? If you have it with you, that is.''

''I’ll look for it later. But I expect it back in mint condition. If there is damage, any scratch or bend at all, you’ll never come near my books again.''

''I promise to be careful.''

''Thank you.''

''This will pass, Jay. You’re not really selfish. You’re simply trying your best. I see that. Your friends see that.''

''And still it feels as if I accidentally make everything about me, Chris. Even my relationship with you.''

''You don’t. You really don’t. Those who really know you, know you’re only joking in the tags. Also, you share your stories, don’t you?''

''Which contain blatant self-inserts.''

''Maybe they do, but remember what you tell everyone who wants to write. Write for yourself. And, as you once said yourself, you’re an amalgamation of all the characters you created, have created, and will create.''

''An echo of T.S. Eliot.''

''Is it?''

''Yeah. He said writers are basically a combination of all their characters, which raised the question in my mind whether we’re human at all. I’m nothing but words, transformed over and over. Gone with the fairies like Yeats most of the time.''

''I didn’t know Eliot said that. See? I’m learning from you. And I can assure you you’re more than words. You’re a storyteller, a good one. A damn good one, in fact, who teaches her listeners about what might have been forgotten.''

''Liar.''

''You know you are, but you don’t allow yourself to believe it. As I said, this mood will pass. I’ve seen you happy and it did look good on you. While it does, I know these moods also give you inspiration alongside my presence so I won’t try to forcefully lift you up. Instead, I want to see what you create. Please show me what you made when your melancholy has passed.''

''You don’t have to wait.''

''Hm? How do you mean?''

''This conversation, this talk with my Muse is a story. It might not have a visual environment like most tales, but it does tell a story. Part of our story, in fact. And it’s noted down, engraved somewhere somehow to never forget.''

''Where?''

''Somewhere in the author’s mind, the only platform they will ever truly need and can rely on. And, perhaps, somewhere someone is listening, but as long as we remember, that is all that matters.''

''That’s a beautiful thought. Philosophical in the way only few can be.''

''Chris?''

''Yeah?''

''Thanks. For hearing me out. For sticking by my side. No former Muse has ever unconsciously done what you do to and for me. I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s different this time. Nobody has ever had the power to make me feel this way. It’s strange, but I like it.''

''That’s good to hear because I don’t intend on stopping any time soon. How about a cup of coffee?''

''I’d like that.''

[uribo-in-space]

Star Trek TOS First Time Viewing  Reaction - S2E2: Who Mourns for Adonais?

DISCLAIMER: I have seen some TNG and Voyager when I was a child and later the AOS movies as a teenager. I felt quarantine time was the right moment to begin the ambitious project “Star Trek marathon 2020/(2021?20??)”, meaning I’m going to watch all of Star Trek starting with TOS finishing with Disco (or maybe we have Strange New Worlds by the time I catch up haha). I started TOS last month and I AM LIVING. IT’S AWESOME and sparks so much joy. I decided I could just write up my thoughts as I am viewing it for the first time as a memory of the experience, not knowing most episodes at all. So, there we go.

Spoilers obviously - just in case somebody else is 50 years late like me, haha.

Opening scene: Scotty flirts with a female lieutenant on the bridge. So far so cute. What about the dialogue from Bones and Kirk accompanying this scene though?

MCCOY: I'm not sure I like that, Jim. KIRK: Why, Bones? Scotty's a good man. MCCOY: And he thinks he's the right man for her, but I'm not sure she thinks he's the right man. On the other hand, she's a woman. All woman. One day she'll find the right man and off she'll go, out of the service. KIRK: I like to think of it not so much losing an officer as gaining SCOTT: Come along. (He and Carolyn enter the turbolift.) KIRK: Actually, I'm losing an officer.

like - what? I had to rewatch this scene to fully understand what they’re saying. I think it’s interesting that, despite TOS being like 50 years old now, I find it easy to forget we’re actually in the 60s/70s when binge watching. Watching it now is sometimes a weird meta experience as you tend to overlook elements that were considered super futuristic in the 60s but are perfectly normal now, so that you actually miss some FUTURISTIC elements because you’re living those aspects of FUTURE already. Yes, of course women quitting their jobs after marriage still happens, but it is not considered a “rule” or “natural order of events” anymore, and is (talking from a western perspective) more of a choice and you would not assume this happening automatically. Especially if you produced an utopian sci-fi series today, that concept would probably not be included. Anyway, it’s pretty interesting that female Starfleet members seem to drop out of service after marriage and it is not considered something a captain or anyone can do something about in the future (I mean, apparently the men still continue their service? I only have divorced Bones for reference so far though). Anyway, TLDR, I am not judging the 60s relics as they are a product of their time, I think they are rather an interesting addition to the viewing experience in 2020, considering the writers did think this concept would persist in the far future. Back to the episode.

IS THAT A GIANT HAND IN SPACE

I love that Chekov casually assumes he has hallucinations - like bro do you have reasons to believe that and what did you do in your free time

This hand really kills me. I also could not believe what I am seeing but I love it

Spock stating he is not offended because you need emotions to be offended - interesting, Spock, so what happened when Kirk pulled a yo mama joke on you in that Paradise Hippie Love Romance Pollen episode (man that was a gem of an episode)

Chekov has one of the most HILARIOUS lines in that episode (next to having one of the most hilarious hairstyles, his hairstyle looks like an interesting over the top take on the Beatles haircut and his head looks so much like a mushroom I feel like he has a side job in Mario Kart):

APOLLO: Search your most distant memories, those of the thousands of years past, and I am there. Your fathers knew me, and your father's fathers. I am Apollo.

CHEKOV: And I am the tsar of all the Russias.

KIRK: Mister Chekov.

CHEKOV: I'm sorry, Captain. I never met a god before.

Chekov be sassy to gods

I can’t let this haircut go, as it got me thinking: Is there a hairdresser on the Enterprise?

That’s a thing to explore

What gossip that person might hear sign me up

So, the guy really is the God Apollo huh

Costume note 1: That toga Apollo wears is SO SMALL like - “SIR nice to meet you but you’re REVEALING THINGS please sit with more modesty OR - NO NOT LIKE THAT”

Costume note 1, addition: Nice to see the ratio of revealing costumes of men & women wearing sexy revealing clothing in this episode is very equal

Apollo really has a worshipping kink huh

But as a Greek god you probably have that

Also where ARE the other gods? Like he just casually says they are all gone... “with the wind” but... why? Did they suffer from worship withdrawal like he does now?

Also: I really LOVE the concept they introduced that the Ancient Greek gods were just a bunch of space travellers visiting Earth who decided to chill there for a while and be all powerful and worshipped. But as Kirk says in the end they were a huge factor for mankind to move to the Golden Age, which is a cool thought.

Seriously what a fun premise? I would watch that as a series. Hera, Artemis, Zeus, Apollo etc. all chilling on their ship and having fights and romances and space adventures on strange planets. I imagine them being a really chaotic and high-maintenance bunch though

Thinking about it, Apollo said he was a demi-god with a human mother (if I understood that correctly) so basically he was born on Earth and never saw (what I assumed is) their home planet until he was an adult and they returned (why did they return?)? But the Enterprise crew defeats him by finding out his “god powers” are actually originating from the temple structure on the planet, so does that work long distance then?? Like they could access their home planet powers from far away...? And not the powers themselves are passed down by genes but rather the access to it? Or is it that they need worship to thrive (like that’s why it worked on Earth and they just need a temple?) Questions over questions. Love the concept overall.

Kirk, Scotty and Chekov talking about energy patterns and science and how to defeat Apollo (also Chekov you’re such a smart boy! and he says he is only 22 in this episode awwW and the others are looking at him like - wow a child is with us) and Bones just randomly... grabs a bowl of fruit, holds it a bit and puts it aside - as I saw no note for that in the script I think it was improvised by Kelley... but why? Like was somebody from the staff whispering last minute “oh no that bowl is ruining the shot take it away subtly if you can”? It really startled me but it’s kinda funny.

Chekovs hair is even more FLUFFY and voluminous in this scene like did they bring the Enterprise’s hairdresser with them? (It’s cute)

CHEKOV: Perhaps if I assisted. KIRK: How old are you? CHEKOV: Twenty two, sir. KIRK: Then I'd better handle it.

Also I like protective Scotty in this episode. I think it is one of the first times he really gets some character development and proper screen time

Kirk being choked by Apollo is on the thin line of really intense acting and passing into Shatners school of overacting but - it works so I am giving a thumbs up for very INTENSE acting

I feel somebody shouted at him “MORE INTENSE” “MORE MOANING” “INTENSITYYY” “BE MORE CHOKED”

Lieutenant Carolyn is kind of a weak character and is pretty much the embodiment of a 60s ideal of a woman but HELL she is beautiful

Costume Note 3: I actually like the cut of her costume, it is an imaginative take on the toga and also sexy - I was surprised they aired it like that tbh - like from one side it looks like she is topless really

Costume Note 3 addition: but then HOW did they fix it? Like she’s not wearing any kind of bra and the fabric is not attached to anything so I guess they glued it to her skin in a lot of places huh - also there is a scene with a storm and a strong wind where I feel the way she tries to protect and cover herself is not just acting but really an attempt by the actress to catch her costume from flying away and not trusting the glue the costume people used

I don’t want to imagine how many wardrobe malfunctions she had with that costume and how many times she stood there topless in front of everyone so... idk

I guess same goes for Apollos costume lol so fair

On a more positive note on the portrayal of women is Uhura’s role here. Her in that mechanics uniform building a bypass circuit in that crammed space under her console (she still has her full hairdo which gets all squished oh NO and the hairdresser is down on the planet fixing Chekovs mushroom!) - you go girl

UHURA: Mister Spock, I haven't done anything like this in years. If it isn't done just right, I could blow the entire communications system. It's very delicate work, sir.

SPOCK: I can think no one better equipped to handle it, Miss Uhura. Please proceed.

Thumbs up for the supporting Spock.

Also I love every time Spock takes over the Bridge. It’s so cool.

So that’s all! Overall a campy episode at first look but I was pleasantly surprised by the concept of the Greek Gods being space travellers etc. Thumbs up for that giant hand too (pun intended). I like to imagine that like with episodes that play in a middle-age setting they just had a set from another movie lying around and thought - how can we make this a strange planet - but that’s really part of the charme of it for me.

This was a long text huh.

BONUS QUOTE (or rather BONES QUOTE?) - as it was my favorite:

MCCOY: To coin a phrase, fascinating. 

[officialsporkintheroad]

Theory: the Patriarchy is Responsible for Rabid m/m Shipping in Fandom

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the tendency in fandoms to ship the hell out of m/m pairings, not only by LGBTQ+ people but also by straight women. (there’s a whole other discourse on fetishization of sexuality that I’m not educated enough or qualified to get into, so I’ll leave that for someone more equipped than I am)

But from a literature analysis standpoint, I could write a whole ass dissertation on how a huge portion of non-canon m/m shipping in fandom is a result of patriarchal ideals permeating our media. Instead, I’ll just drop the bullet points.

The male to female ratio is heavily skewed. In books, movies, tv shows, etc., men make up the majority of a cast of characters. In most famous trios, men make up 2/3 (Harry, Ron, Hermione & Percy, Grover, Annabeth & Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme & Edward, Jacob, Bella). Even in larger casts, the roles are overwhelmingly male (and overwhelmingly white), with usually one token female character. Consider the first Avengers movie, which had 5 male heroes (Captain America, Ironman, Hawk-eye, Thor, and the Hulk) and 1 female hero (Black Widow). Consider the Star Trek reboots, where Lt. Uhura is the only named female character who keeps returning to the series (*cough* while every other woman is just a plot device *cough*).

The female characters are often less developed than the male characters. Even when women are given representation, their presence in many popular narratives serves only to further a man’s plot arc. In Umbrella Academy, for example, a seemingly competent female detective is shot and murdered essentially to further motivate one of the male characters. Hermione, in the majority of the Harry Potter series, serves to info-dump at crucial plot points. Also worth noting: women who are assigned the role of “love interest” have little plot movement and few goals (if any) that don’t relate to the male protagonist. 

Both of these points lead to the conclusion that, often, the scripted relationship in any given story is unsatisfying. Perhaps, if the protagonist and love interest existed in an isolation tank, we would be happy with their relationship. But when women are written poorly, written without compelling goals and emotions and earth-shattering conflicts, it makes it all the more difficult to see them as an equal match to the seemingly complex, heroic men around them. And when all of the male characters are written with such depth, it seems logical that our lizard brains would find their personalities more aligned with the protagonist than even the intended love interest. But wait, there’s more...

In fiction, male/female friendships are extremely rare. When a woman jokes around with her guy pal, when they share a meal or drink together, when they are friendly and tactile with each other, it almost inevitably leads to a relationship. Her behavior is often framed as “making her the ideal match” for the protagonist. Even if they start off as less than friendly, it’s the cleverness of their animosity and the witty insults which lead to a passionate romance. As viewers, we’ve become programmed to see the signs early on and anticipate a romantic arc between any two individuals who behave that way towards each other. Which is why it is perhaps so confusing that showrunners/authors expect us to ignore that reaction when it’s two men (and, actually, two women as well) in a friendship that displays all of those same hallmarks. Example: Merlin and Arthur from BBC’s Merlin. (Yes, I know this is one of the most queer-baiting shows out there, but bear with me). If you changed nothing about the character but Merlin’s gender, the formula would be perfect for the “one of the guys” trope into the “uh oh, do I want to date my best friend” thing that they really, already had going on. Another example of this is Elementary, which literally turns Watson into a woman so that the canon-inspired flirting/chemistry/sexual tension between Sherlock and Watson is palatable to a patriarchal audience. 

In real life, men are often encouraged to suppress their emotions, “toughen up”, and perform masculinity in accordance to patriarchal rules. In fanfiction, male characters are often released from that social contract. A potentially appealing aspect of many slash pairings in fanfiction is the ability to experience an escape from real-world toxicity and oppression. Whether it’s a 1940s fluff piece that ignores the fear of discovery and the necessity for discretion that was true of that era historically, or a story of space lesbians exploring the galaxy together and getting married, these stories are a much-needed relief to the still-existent fear & oppression that many, many LGBTQ+ people feel today. But I also postulate that part of the reason m/m pairings are enticing to straight women as well is that many women are also fearful and hesitant towards men, and that seeing the possibility for softness & tenderness & love -- as is often depicted in slash fanfiction & which is still sorely lacking in the representation of straight male protagonists in mainstream media -- is reassuring. Like, hey isn’t it great to think that maybe there’s hope that men don’t have to be emotionally repressed and aggressive and intolerant.

There are probably countless other examples and countless other points I could make, but I promised to keep this short, so here it is. 

And on a final note: keep going. Keep creating art. Keep posting your headcanons and your shitposts and your moodboards. Keep writing -- soft characters, sad characters and happy ones, angry characters and righteous ones and wrong ones, and write women who are as fearless as our own mothers, and write men who aren’t afraid to cry, and write everyone in-between and beyond. Write love that’s so deep you’ll never see the bottom, and write friendships that are even fiercer than romances.

Lets dismantle the patriarchy, one fanfic at a time. 

[katatty]

replies

Will hopefully have some time to post the next LFT household tomorrow, but, in the meantime, replies! 

ch4rmsing replied to your photoset “Onto her next project! Blossom’s legally entred the long abandonned...”

I freaking love the Armscor Warehouses. Zarathustra did an exceptional job on that lot <3 Nice to see it use!

Right?? Zarathustra’s buildings are incredible, truly my favourite builder of all time (I copy a LOT of their ideas in my builds, haha)

penig replied to your photoset “Graduation time! Blossom’s leaving-do is all campires and bubbles.”

Much like the rest of her college career.

Hey, you can’t have too much of a good thing!

tamtam-go92 replied to your post “How has Juliette like not gone to jail or something? Accident or not,...”

I have that Same Problem with sims in the criminal career never being arrested or something. There seem to be a pretty lax law enforcement in sim world

Yeah, that’s definitely true. There aren’t a lot of premades in the law enforcement career for one thing, are there? I think that guy from Belladonna Cove is the only one. Yet the police have time to waste arresting teens for breaking curfew??? Priorities... 

That said I *have* considered starting up a prison lot, just because playing non-traditional households is a lot of fun and I have SO many sims with the criminal LTW... perhaps I’ll do a random roll at the start of all their rounds. 

penig replied to your photoset “Well, I’ve enjoyed our time together too, Dirk. It’s been a pleasure...”

Fate is not to be relied on. Much better nudge it along.

I think it’s Blossom’s way of letting him down easy, haha. 

swedishjazzreplied to your photoset “Puck catches up with another old friend/ex…”

How did THAT conversation go. "So I'm living in a hippie commune now! "My grandmother re-murdered my father so now I'm on the lam." "Same old, then, huh?"

Lmao I can’t even imagine... I think they probably stick to the small talk - I don’t imagine their friendship coming as easily as Puck & Hermia’s does, it’s always gonna be kinda awkward with their history. Then again Tybalt HATES the idea of a hippie camp and tries to reassure himself that proves it was a bullet dodged, lmao

also “re-murdered”is the best phrase

thelonelysimsclub replied to your photoset “You joined a hippie commune? Man, that doesn’t sound like you…...”

I'm 100% here for ruthless Pleasant girls

good, me too! I see both of them experimenting a lot & burning through quite a few relationships at college 

ajaysims replied to your photoset “Next up: Moonbeam Commune! A small group of noncomformists who don’t...”

great idea!

infinitesimblr replied to your photoset “Next up: Moonbeam Commune! A small group of noncomformists who don’t...”

I think that's an awesome idea which I may or may not be considering copying...

Thanks, guys! I totally don’t mind if other people want to steal the idea, I’m sure I’m not the first simmer to play a hippie commune... I think there was even one in the Sims Bustin’ Out game, haha. 

techheaddanie replied to your photo “Puck finally, finally got a proper hippie makeover I’m happy with!...”

Puck looks great. That outfit really suits them.

Thanks!! Yeah, I really dig it. The heels Puck was wearing before just did not suit a fearie, imo!

penig replied to your photo “Dirk only vaugely remebers how he ended up here. He was upset about...”

Hey, you're way overdue for a little freedom from The Man, Dirk. Enjoy it while you've got it.

Yes!! Dirk was probably exhausted from shouldering all the responsibility and welcomes the break. 

swedishjazz replied to your photoset “Gunnar invites over old pal Mickey Dosser, who brings Blossom along.”

Mickey's makeover.............

Mickey’s makeover is the only acceptable Mickey look... I’m flexible about sim headcanon, characterization, sexuality, but if Mickey Dosser isn’t a huge borderline-parody stoner what are you doin

thelonelysimsclub replied to your photoset “What are you looking at, Monty? Spying on me?????” “I’m just waiting...”

Juliette really needs to chill!

holleyberry replied to your photoset “What are you looking at, Monty? Spying on me?????” “I’m just waiting...”

I didn't think it was possible for someone to make me dislike Juliette.

moocha-muses replied to your photoset “What are you looking at, Monty? Spying on me?????” “I’m just waiting...”

Juliette you are Out. Of. Control.

Somehow her attacking Bianca of all people seems so much worse than all her childhood fights, huh? I see Juliette as quite a reluctant baddie, Romeo’s death was something she wished for in the heat of the moment but definitely wasn’t something she actually intended to happen… still, too late now, gotta keep it up!!!

holleyberry replied to your photoset “Lilith wouldn’t leave Tank alone all night, dirty jokes constantly…...”

Aw :( You're no fun.

haha, sorry but Tank sleeping with BOTH Pleasant sisters just feels way too icky for me! 

I’m actually kinda wondering about changing one of the twins zodiacs so they stop getting bolts for the same guys all the time, it creeps me out a bit lmao 

penig replied to your photoset “Hello?” “Hey! Heather gave me your number, I’m Angela. I’m trying to...”

Ratio greatly skewed female? You bet he's in!

penig replied to your photo “Hey. I saw your date left… want to hang out for a bit? My date ran...”

Hey, fulfilling a woman for the rest of her life without even having to hang around? He is so down with that!

He sure is!!! Gunnar’s way more successful than I thought he’d be, though it’s probably partially because I gave him all the aspiration benefits. He’s a fun sim to play - reads as a very pure romance sim to me who just really likes women and wants to show them a good time. 

glabeglarnreplied to your photoset “Also spotted downtown: Malcolm and Florence blowing bubbles together...”

Your downtown looks so lively! You did a wonderful job decorating it :)

Thank you!! I can’t take too much credit though, @jodeliejodelie​ did all the hard work with her lovely decorated downtown template. 

penig replied to your photoset “I couldn’t help overhearing…” “Uh, dude? That was a private...”

He knows he has an edge over anyone who isn't a musician.

Yeah, p much. I think as soon as another musician enters the picture it turns into a total pissing contest, haha

moocha-muses replied to your photoset “Awesome!!!! Wait until Nina hears about this. Thanks, dude.” “Uh…...”

Congratulations, Chloe! (Neens should make her a bread pudding with 20 candles.)

Yes, perfect!! Nina is 100% supportive of her girlfriend’s questionable life goals

charmandersims replied to your post “top 5 F/F premade pairings”

Nina/Chloe is my top inter-neighbourhood ship ever. They work so well

They do!!! I legit adore them together so much

[kendrixtermina]

Baby Reacts to: “Voltron Legendary Defender”

I’m not familiar with either of the show’s previous incarnations but from what I’ve heard they completely overhauled the characters anyways - supposedly Pidge was once an annoying tagalong kid (and a boy), Keith was a standard issue “hot-blooded mecha pilot”, Shiro was not there, or killed of in the first storyarc, and Allura was a completely different character with a wholly different design, more of a ‘princess classic’ with the looks & personality to macth, supposedly they redesigned her to make her more alien & then threw in the skintone as a hommage to her voice actress. In any case only the name is the same. 

I’ve seen some clips and it seems they had a much more outwardly fantasy-aesthetic going on with carriages & period costume, sort of more like Star Wars or Sailor Moon,  whereas the newest version seems roughly Star Craft esque in terms of their particular blend of Magitek. 

Otherwise it’s pretty straighforward: Evil Empire, Ancient Artifacts, Giant Robots, Space Fights, timefrozen hightech city left behind by the precursors etc. 

The evil empire has a renegate splinter faction but that too isn’t so exceptional (though welcome), the BoM reminded me somewhat of the Tok’Ra from Stargate in their reclusive, slow-to-act approach in that they have tons of futuristic tech but limited ressources & had to be won over first & there still being a lot of mutual distrust on both sides, at least at first.  

Rare in this day and age (and very refreshingly IMHO) the show unapologetically sticks to the basic genre & tropes without falling over its own feet trying to be clever  & meta - sure, they evened out the gender ratio a bit & made the structure of the battles less monotonous but we’re not beaten over the head with any of these things/fit them in naturally & the show never seems like it has something to prove & just lets its story be a straightforward giant robots & explosions kinda thing.

It helps that the artwork is great. 

The best summary of my general impression is that I’ll pobably tune in for season 3. My favorite character so far would be Keith closely followed by Pidge, and Shiro, but AFAIK everyone likes Shiro? I’m prolly b/c I’ve heard it’s terrible (The Umbridge effect is probably in full force...) also I’ve been told there’s a trailer out and I’d rather see season 3 unspoiled. 

Clearly there needs to be some payoff for Shiro grooming Keith as a potential sucessor but I’m hoping that after a few drama-filled episodes, they all go rescue Shiro from wherever he’s gotten to, Keith hands him back his helmet and they all go home together. I mean, he just got his own Bayard. It’s unclear what happened to him in any case, perhaps he was absorben Evangelion style. 

That said one of the show’s strenghts is the clear aversion of the “annoying comedic sidekick” even though it has many characters that has could theoritically fit that description - They try their best to give each of the characters something to do & various skills & likeable traits - Like you get why each of them is there and why they’re our heroes - they also took the time to make sure everyone got a few character establishing moment in the first episode (Shiro’s arrival, Pidge & Keith were already on their own quests by their own means, Hunk & Lance served as the PoV characters etc) and throughout the show they try to bring out everyone’s personalities through reaction shots etc. Like, ALL of them are awesome.

Also apparently this fandom has brutal shipping wars? Some ppl I was sitting next to kept cracking jokes about how [random yaoi pair] was obvliously into each other and after a while it got annoying through sheer persistence. 

I don’t think the show as a whole is going for that like if there was going to be a decent/central romantic subplot they’d have introduced it by now they seem to be content to simply be an action show & there’s not much content like that at all except for the occassional teasing for the sake of humor & Lance’s flirting (which is really more there to exposition his being a bit of a showoff) - the most that will come out of it is that when we see some epilogue telling us what became of everyone, Lance will be shown to have found a girlfriend after returning home to his mom & impressing his siblings with his heroic stories. 

To begin with they seem to be going for a different vibe with the main characters, with how all of them (including Allura) refer to each other as “family” or “brothers” all the time like I get the impression we’re supposed to interpret them more as simply comerades or quasi-siblings with Shiro as the big brother and Coran as the kooky uncle.  

Like I hate it when ppl dismiss already existing romantic subplots as “uneccesary”, “silly” or “pandering” but at the same time it’s not like every show needs to have one or like it immediately needs an explanation when one character doesn’t get a love interest(that they must be gay, ace etc... nothing wrong with those type of characters, or headcanon, but “we’re not doing romance genre RN/ the characters are busy fighting a war” should be a sufficient explanation in and of itself whatever the characters’ orientations are.) 

General Character Impressions:

Their secret seems to be rolling with the basic tropes but connecting them into an interesting structre, so it comes off neither overly in your face nor one dimensional.

Lance - ‘Average Joe Relatable PoV character’ except they made him not-boring by making him the snarky/funny one & giving (he’s got ice powers & is the designated long range fighter, both very cool powers, pun not intended but retroactively appreciated) as well as drawing logical consequences (He’s the most attached to earth because of his relatively ‘normal’ background & wants to prove himself because it seems he was the midle child among numerous siblings, hence the rivalry with the local ace pilot.) Sorta calls to mind the likes of Kyon from Haruhi or Sokka from Avatar.  

Hunk - For once the “all around nice heart of the group with the more intuitive, roundabout type of reasoning” isn’t the token girl but I’m glad that role’s still there because niceness & group cohesion is a valid attribute. The “nice person” is typically the healer or magic user but making them the defensive fighter makes just as much sense, especially with his personality as the more cautions common sense-y one who becomes committed to the mission through the desire to protect innocents. 

Pidge - The “secretly a girl” thing is kinda trite but it makes sense as a reference to the original and they still eschewed the tropes by how she was badass well before & doesn’t get treated any different afterwards - The plot twist is more that she’s related to the scientists from the prologue. Otherwise another potential spirit animal of mine, VERY relatable in ways I can’t count, fro the nerdy reactions all the way to the short stubby arms XD I’m also grateful that they didn’t give us that trite old “nature vs science” contrast but instead portrayed these as connected.  It’s like Kensuke from Evangelion, except as a girl & she actually got to be a pilot. 

Keith - The Rival Character. Second-best fighter  of the paladins, sort of a ‘larger-than-life’ superhumanly good ace pilot, to Lance’s ongoing chagrin (and indeed he turns out to be part warrior alien), also, predictably, the local cynic. Seems to have the least ties to earth/ have been looking for a purpose in life anyways.    Not quite a ‘stoic number two’ though - He’d probably like to be but he absolutely doesn’t really know when to shelf it, hence his being highly suceptible to Lance’s provocations & flunking out because of a “discipline issue” despite his aparent talent. 

Shiro - Former Ace Pilot & personal hero for both Lance & Keith. Got alien abducted & subjected to the full repertoire (gladiator fights, experimented on, augmented etc.) & is understandeably still rather shook from it. Serious disciplined military type & natural leader, hence ends up taking over almost immediately wheen stranded with a bunch of ragtag space cadet rejects and, as a result, becomes everyone’s beloved big brother figure./mentor. Supposedly just as loved by the fandom?  Actually still pretty young, he just looks mature in comparison to the others but he’s not above getting in a snowfight. 

Allura - There’s the “sweet princess classic”, the “fierce alien warrior princess” and the “glittery plot magic princess” and in Allura’s case they seem to have been thrown in a blender & put together in such a fashion as to make a more complicated character - She’s certainly fierce, somewhat agressive, suspicious & hellbent on her mission but she also has the diplomatic grace one would expect of a royal & ultimately she does have a sweet side (hinted at early on with her adorable animal companions) - The basic gist of it is that she’s a regular teenage girl somewhere, but has been trained for asskicking & diplomacy all her life, & now she’s the last survivor & feels the pressure to carry on her father’s torch & stop the evil empire so she affects a comanding presence most of the time. 

Also there seems to be some meme about calling her a racist (Ugh tumblr) ? This seems to me as one of this stuations where people want complex characters but cannot handle it if they’re not perfect or fitting into easy boxes. 

The whole point of her is that she comes from a different time & culture with it’s conlicts outside of the human character’s PoVs. Like point me at any angry alien princess who is NOT suspicious. Both being unfrozen and heck, even Zarkon’s betrayal are still relatively recent for her, and in the end she was just kinda avoiding Keith (granted, in what must’ve been a confusing uncertain time for him) more than actively being mean and she came through on her own & apologized. Like, it was just like Hunk said: She just needed processing time, something she’s been afforded preciously little of at any point ever, I mean she goes straight from realizing everyone she ever knew (except Coran) is dead to launching an offensive.  

Bonus: I shall attempt to MBTI the bunch

(In Order of certainty)

Hunk - most obvious ISFJ to ever SiFe 

Allura - ESTJ

Pidge - INTP

Keith - ISTP or possibly ISFP, certainly Se-aux tho. One the one hand he uses Fi-ish language in places (”If I don’t do this, I’ll never find out who I am...”) on the other hand he tends to prioritize the mission & is the most cynical/pragmatic of the bunch & tends to be stoic & objective unless provoked (”The rest of the universe has families too.” “Yeah but can we afford to rescue the princess?”) - His relative reactiveness when provoked is sufficiently accounted for by Se. 

Zarkon - ESTJ 

Shiro - ISTJ (though his instant commanding presence makes me doubt the I somewhat that said politician/leader ISTJs do happen. He seems to have been serious & dilligent even before all the trauma tho.)

Lance - ESFJ or possibly Se-dom, ESxx for sure tho. 

Coran - Clearly has Si and Ne but not sure in which order. If I had to guess I’d say he’s either a very dutiful ENFP or a very quirky ISTJ. 

[theloniuswomb-blog]

Spiderman: Homecoming Can Suck My Fucking Dick.

Holy Shit. Where do I even start with this film? I wanted to like it a lot. I was intrigued by the casting of Tom Holland as Spider Man. He came off well in the Marvel Civil War movie, I remember thinking to myself; “Hey! His part was funny! Just the right amount of awkward, slash, comical that I instantly recognize as Spider Man. Awesome!” Now, I usually have doubts about any superhero adaption since the hit to miss ratio is all over the place, but this I thought could work quite nicely.  I saw the trailer, and like the little whore that I am, it got me wet. Wet hot with sexual anticipation. The CGI looked impressive. The action sequences looked crisp and innovative, the tone of the shots were dark and brooding. I expected drama, emotion and a plot-line that, although may not be the most original, could perhaps come through with some good acting and a tight script; with some inspired direction thrown in for good measure. This was the package I was creating for myself in my brain. My golden goose's egg.  And, much like Verruca Salt, I made a big song and dance about it to everyone, throwing glitter and sheets of colored plastic all over the room. But also like Verruca Salt, I also got hit with the trap door. A trap door that golden eggs get shat down, and so do we, right along with em; to burn for all eternity while Gene Wilder laughs at our scorched bodies.  First off, let's start with the tone of the movie. It doesn't have one. It has no idea what kind of movie it wants to be. It's got this light hearted vibe when Spidey is around that feels completely alien to the murky goings on of the Vulture. You get scenes where Peter Parker is walking through the school, drooling over hot girls in the most forced and gormless way. (SPOILER: Most of the film is of Tom Holland looking gormless at everyone around him.) Juxtaposed with Michael Keaton straight up killing people in the most nonchalant way possible. It's kind of infuriating, it was like there were two movies going on in tandem and neither of them had any particular relevance to the other. I must say, Michael Keaton gave a fairly decent performance, but he could have been used so much better. I saw Birdman recently (something I couldn't ignore as a massive, quite probably intended irony of Keaton's career) and I was impressed. I had problems with that film too (But I'll leave that for another review) but overall the acting was really fucking solid. Like I say, I was impressed. But obviously, good acting doesn't matter anymore for films like this. I honestly thought the newer incarnations of Batman would have taught a lesson to the makers of these kinds of movies. But obviously not.  Let's get to Peter. Peter is the most insufferable character ever. He's meant to be very smart, yet doesn't use his brain once. Not only does he not use his brain to problem solve, but he doesn't use it for introspection at all. The amount of times he puts other people's lives at risk in this movie is astounding. If this feature of the plot was used as a tool to move Peter's character forward as he matures into a new and exciting world, I can forgive this whole problem. In fact, that's kind of what I wanted to see. Progression. But it never comes. Spider Man sees bad guys robbing the bank. He attacks, not even stopping when he realizes they have incredibly powerful weapons. He carries on and ends up blowing up a deli over the street of a man that earlier in the movie is established, that he knows. Not once does he show any remorse for this horrible incident. He ruined a man's career, livelihood, and potentially could have killed him if he happened to live above the shop.

In another instance, Parker sees bad guys driving; he attacks them on the highway where loads of other people could die from all the high tech weapons going off at high speeds. He knew the types of weapons they had but did it anyway. He could have followed them to their destination, found out where the base was, who was involved in the organization and work out a plan. He could even find out the buyers if he cased them for a few weeks. But this thought never crosses Peters mind. It's just attack all problems in the face until they die. I mean fuck, this is a whiz kid of physics and science, some of the most logical shit ever. Yet he can't even think up a simple fucking plan to take on his enemies? Honestly, it's so hard to relate to Peter in this movie. You'd have to be some kind of autistic sociopath in order to find him tolerable. After a while Tony Stark comes along. Fuck me, Robert Downey Jr. couldn't give one flying fuck about this movie. And it showed like hell. His whole character in the film was just him playing himself not caring in various tropical places. I honestly believe Tony Stark represented how little of a fuck the writers and director cared about this film. He was a direct mouthpiece for the writers of the movie to say “fuck you” to the audience. Honestly, every time Parker fucked up, Tony would say “Oi, Parker, stop fuckin around!” but never explains why. He never says “Hey, you could have killed people back there! Are you insane?” instead he half asses his reasons and when Parker questions him on it he just says “because I said so.” Like fuck, you'd think after the first time Spidey fucks up, that's the time to sit down and talk. Jesus Christ should you even wait for a first-time-fuck-up in this scenario? Tony Stark, one of the smartest men alive, waits for Spidey to fuck up three times, THREE TIMES, with the third seeing spider man nearly sinking a whole ship of people due to his negligence. Hundreds would have died. It's incredible.

So, Iron Man finally gives some punishment after this. He takes away Parkers new shiny Stark Spidey Suit, to which Parker says “I'm nothing without that suit!” to which Stark replies; “if you're nothing without this suit, you don't deserve it.” or something to that effect. Instead of Peter having a moment of clarity and saying “fuck, people nearly died, I nearly died. Maybe I need to switch up my game and show Iron Man I'm more mature than this. Show I can use some strategy and grow into this role I'm destined to have and finally use my genius brain to devise a plan.” Nope. That's wishful thinking partner and you can get shot around here for that kinda talk.  Instead what we get is Parker learning nothing, and him creating some kind of device that allows him to go out and fuck up even faster and directly than before. They use some kind of tracker map to find the Vulture, who is breaking into an airplane full of Stark weapons. An Iron Suit included. Now, what the actual fuck? I don't know if the Vulture knows this, but Iron Man can remotely control his suits. If one were stolen, you can bet your bottom dollar he'd activate it and cane your operation into next week. But the Vulture MUST have known that, since he remotely controlled his own mechanical wings to try and kill Parker earlier in the movie. So what in the actual fuck is this man doing? He's inviting Iron Man into his lair. Willingly. It's the most stupid thing ever. It also gives so little motivation for Parker to do anything about the situation. Once he realizes it's Stark tech, he should have left. Because Parker also knows Iron Man remotely controls his suits, there's a whole scene that points this out near the beginning of the film for fuck's sake. The Vulture would have been a goner immediately upon the knowledge of the hijacking. It's easily the most retarded part of the film.   So Spidey decides to go all-in despite knowing Iron Man could easily kill this guy remotely and nearly ends up causing this plane to crash all over the city, no doubt killing thousands of people. In fact, an engine falls out while they're fighting on the plane's wings. Parker shows no regard for that at all. No remorse for the people that no doubt were killed by the falling debris. Fortunately, Spidey manages to use his webs to bend the out-of-control plane wing and steer them to safety. (Well, he crashes the plane into a sandbank.) He takes down the Vulture and leaves him tangled at the scene old school Spidey style, with a note to boot. Wow. How amazing. And he did it all without his shiny suit! He overcame so many obstacles and shortcomings, we really went on a journey there with old Petey boy there. Oh wait, that was the film I was daydreaming about while I was being shat on by this movie. Upon Stark learning of this situation, he instantly has Spider Man brought to the new headquarters of the Avengers, where he was about to announce Spider Man as a new, key member, along with an even better shiny suit. Like, what? Seriously? This kid needs a dressing down, not a new three piece. But it doesn't come. All we get is Parker declining the offer, you get a mild sense that he realizes that he's in over his head, and maybe this is all a bit much for him. But it's not really expressed very well. It all feels so odd and disjointed. I mean here we have Iron Man, the guy who cared about people dying from collateral damage in Civil War; who hunted down the Winter Soldier because he was a danger to the public, (who also for some reason killed Tony's parents,) caused a rift with the current most powerful heroes and his teammates, as he also wanted them to register their identities to an official data base to help reign them in and hold them accountable. Yet for some reason Tony couldn't give the time of day to say “Hey kid, tone it down you're getting crazy out there.”  I'll stop ragging on the film soon, but before I do, I want to mention the love interest. This was one of the most wooden romances I've ever seen. No chemistry. She was called Lizzy. It turns out Mary Jane is the other sarcastic girl who makes the closest things to jokes in the movie. Which I liked, but they didn't do nearly enough with. Again, there was an opportunity for him to grow with this character, have his attention turned to MJ, have him realize this Lizzy girl was a bit vacuous and boring, while this other girl was interesting and fun. But again it didn't happen. Instead, Lizzy moves away because of plot reasons that I won't give away, and MJ is merely hinted at as the new romance for the next film. Which is fucking boring. Honestly, it's so dull. I hated all the romance scenes. I wanted to like them, I mean shit, the girl was so hot. They even get an ass shot of her in her bikini. I was like “wow these are meant to be 15-year-old kids, what are they thinking? Isn’t this inappropriate for a kids movie?” (They are not 15-year-old kids, just to clarify. But for the plot, they were). They could have used this screen time to have Peter reflecting on his Uncle Ben, or bonding with his Aunty. Who, in my opinion, should have been told about the Spider Man thing. I think her knowing earlier in the film would have been a good dynamic to use. He should have told her right away after his first fuck up. I know it might deviate from traditional Spider Man lore, but as a film, it would've been a much more interesting watch. Aunt May is such a central figure to the Spider Man universe, as is the Uncle Ben storyline, but neither are given any sort of focus. Overall this film is garbage. In true Warski style, it was Garbage. Full on trash. I hated Guardians of the Galaxy less, and that's saying something. That is really saying something. Because that movie was awful. For Spider Man I have to say: the overall plot was good, but there were so many missed opportunities that it became more like a midlife crisis by the end. The choices to make for this story seemed so obvious, it was almost like they were purposefully not taking the logical steps in the narrative in order to make this movie as painful as possible. (Because the razor wire they'd jammed way up in your ass, to the tune of £13.50 for 3D, just wasn't quite painful enough.) Fuck this movie, nobody should see it, I hope it fucking bombs in the box office. Which it won't because, like the little whores that we are, we're all just gonna fan-boy for Spidey like we always do. I honestly regret spending money on this. Don't even buy the DVD, it's not worth it.

Before I go I need to mention something else; humor. Peter was not funny. He had moments of fun, sure. But he was not funny. Peter Parker is witty. He is known for wit, not fun. Again, this could have been used as a plot device to show his coping mechanism for dealing with such raw shit all the time. He exudes wit and comedy in the face of danger, then behind closed doors doubts himself. Like fuck, is a 15-16 year old really meant to be doing this shit? Getting involved in weapon trafficking and the criminal world after his Uncle Ben being shot and killed? As an aside, thank god they didn't make us re-live Uncle Ben's death. I was glad they kept that as a past event that we didn't need to see. One of the few good touches of the film. You could say it was like wiping just a bit of shit off your arse with your finger. There's not quite as much shit there anymore, but now it's on your finger, so. There you go.  So, what's my ultra biased and not subjective at all, star rating for this film? 1.5 out of 5. Some action was good, the 3D sucked, the acting sucked, the writing sucked, the CGI was good, Michael Keaton was good, everyone else didn't give a shit and ultimately it showed. Don't see this film. Boycott it harder than Isreal.

[infiniteundo]

Software-as-narrative 12/n: What Dijkstra said about the novelty of software complexity

Edsger Dijkstra was one of the first computer scientists, along with Hopper and Knuth he is a "Wizard Of The Age Of Legends." He was also salty af and had amusingly controversial opinions that still have the potential to offend software engineers and designers today!

Dijkstra's lectures are free to read online and back when I was a self-teaching junior front-end Web developer, I read Dijkstra a lot.

The Combinatorial Explosion Problem

Dijkstra spoke of a complexity ratio by which we measure the ratio of the number of "parts" to the whole — the total number of "parts" needed to create the product.

In the case of a bicycle there are perhaps 30 or 50 parts, yielding a ratio of 1/30 or 1/50.

Dijkstra thought it significant that the ratio of the number of parts to the size of the whole in a computer program is far larger by many orders of magnitude than any machine ever seen in human history.

In one example, Dijkstra considered a functional allegory where each microsecond of computer time was considered a "part" of the program. This seems fair to me because (in a running process) at any microsecond an instruction could execute.

The Halting Problem

Because of The Halting Problem we can not predict in advance whether an instruction will or will not execute in any given microsecond. You cannot generally predict it. Even given knowledge of system state, including source code, including whatever you can include: it doesn't matter because that's what NP-Hard problems are like.

Now consider that supervisor processes should certainly run for longer than a microsecond. The social contract about how long-should-this-run that exists between user and process in fact implies an undefined in the very far future. In other words it is hard to even form expectations about computational processes let alone predict their behavior, which has been shown to be generally impossible.

Any program has to halt eventually or does it?

Although no program could run forever, there is no functional difference between a program that stops-then-starts and reloads a good-enough backup of the previous state. So time is extremely fungible. That is a lot of microseconds. That is a mighty big ratio of parts to the size of the whole.

If that ratio matters, if Dijkstra was right then software is a hierarchically complex entity on a scale usually only seen in extremely large animal colonies, massive flights of migratory insects, human cities seen from space. The same scale of complexity exists in even the simplest program… given that program runs for a half hour or so.

Risk can be modeled according to the ratio of the size of the whole to its parts

The complexity "risk" that Dijkstra was pointing out here is orthogonal to what any program ought to be doing. For a real-world reference see Knight Capital and also ma.gnol.ia, the short-lived social network that died along with what turned out to be the only copy of its production database.

The longer a program runs and the more users it has, the more unpredicted (though not necessarily harmful) behavior said system exhibits. This is a well-known phenomenon reflected in the programmer joke that:

> "on a Web site, the one-in-a-million event happens every Tuesday."

No matter how you characterize the number of "parts" in a running, interacting program, it is obvious the ratio is astronomically larger than any previously-experienced machine in human or indeed in natural history. One has to look at things like planetary ecosystems to find something on the same scale as a non-trivial Web service as measured by the ratio of parts to the whole.

A Web site running for a half an hour calculated as (30*60)/(1/1000000) results in a staggering ratio of one billion eight hundred million potential ways that microseconds can be strung together as larger increments of time to form "parts" of the program.

It is ridiculous to point out how much more complex this sounds than a bicycle, or than a passenger jet or than a mega-city. By comparison a Boeing 747 has around six million parts.

1.8e+9 as it is expressed in scientific notation, is a number we are more used to considering as the population of a mega-city (and even then it is rather large, certainly New York has not nearly this many people).

"The software is not finished until the last user is dead."

Web systems are complex beyond the level normally recognized. OSI stack complexity for instance does not begin to hint at the billions of opportunities for intended-or-not behaviors that exist inside every process not to mention anything about concurrency but did I mention concurrency? Yeah. Staggering numbers of "parts."

At the current scale of distributed systems, the mechanical metaphor completely fails. The metaphor of software-as-edifice (as cathedral or as bazaar, say) also has failed.

So is not even fair to call software systems machines. They are organisms in the teleonomic sense.

Evolving modern software movements like Agile and Devops reject more and more the idea that Web systems even should be as machines and my intent here is to reject the view entirely. These web systems we manage are organisms by any teleonomic definition. Our machines have become critters, as Cliff Moon and Donna Haraway and many others have suggested over the years.

[cigarettecassette]

okay I’m gonna rant here for a second- about the male beauty standard. not even a rant, no, better; a memoir *sparkle sparkle*

First off, I am not minimizing in any way the undoubtable, outrageous female beauty standard that diseases the modern world. 

This one is for the dudes of tumblr.

For a long time, I’ve been plagued relentlessly with the words “eat something”,  “put some meat on those bones”, or my personal favorite, “eat a cheeseburger”. Growing up in America as a skinny kid was never enjoyable or pleasant, especially when so few of the population looked similar to myself. I was always picked last in gym class and left slumped against the school wall, alone, on the playground while my classmates played basketball, four-square and tag. The boys never wanted anything to do with me because I was so very socially awkward and weak, and the girls didn’t want me for similar reasons. Naturally, I picked up art as a hobby, like most lonely people seem to. All throughout elementary and middle school, I remained the token art kid, good at drawing but terrible at everything else, oh, and also ugly. Perhaps if I wasn’t so skinny, I would be average on the appearance spectrum, but my weight had always been a negative factor in the eyes of my peers. I have a distinct memory from fourth grade, when there was some state law going into effect that required children under a certain height/weight ratio to be in a carseat, regardless of age. While walking to another classroom I was stopped by two of my teachers who had been supervising the flow of children in the hallway, they playfully but at the same time maliciously asked me if I came to school in a carseat that day. I didn’t understand it at the time, but when I later asked my parents, I discovered it was a joke at my expense. That entire year was filled with jokes about me, an eight year old, in a car seat built for toddlers. Hysterical.

High school was more of the same, only worse, because teenagers are the literal fucking spawns of satan. After suffering through a year of Phys Ed., classes of which I missed nearly half, my teacher passed me with a D-, a pity grade that I embraced with full force and immense gratitude. I avoided PE with every fibre of my being for the next two years, until senior year rolled around and I needed my second PE credit. After arguing with my guidance counselor for what felt like, and probably was, several weeks, I found a loophole. Not necessarily a loophole, more like a really top-secret option that the school board wanted nobody to know about, which was, in all of it’s shit stained glory, online physical education. It would be harder than normal PE, require critical thought, a fuck ton of writing, careful thought and a lot of lying on my part since I knew I wan’t going to go to the gym every morning like the class required. My therapist gave me a note that more or less stated that I was not fit to take PE (no pun intended) due to severe anxiety. Thus, online phys ed, which was almost entirely completed with clumsy lies and forged signatures on my exercise log. 

I was never athletic, and I was never going to be athletic. My body type has always been short, skinny and pale. I’ve never weighed more than ninety pounds my entire life. I didn’t choose to be like this, and I’ve sure as hell never wanted to look like this.

I wish I could be the ideal man the girls talked about in my high school sociology class, tall, muscular, tan with curly blonde hair and a deep, soft voice. But I know that I’ll never be that guy, I can have all the same wonderful personality traits, but it has always come down to “you’re just too feminine”, or “you’re not tall enough”, or anything that starts with the ever so infamous “you’re so nice, but..”.

It has been a struggle, finding the beauty in myself that nobody else has had the patience to look for. And my life has been so much better for it.

We need to teach young boys, in addition to young girls, that all body types are worthy of love and acceptance. No one is more or less qualified for for love for having the body that they were born into. Male or female, white or black, cis or trans. 

Stop. Putting. Qualifiers. On. Love.

[bexical]

Late Night

I saw Late Night over the weekend, and it was surprisingly heartfelt. It features Emma Thompson as Catherine Newbury, a late night show host in the later years of her career, and Mindy Kaling as Molly Patel, a former chemical plant worker and now Catherine’s new diversity hire. I’ve got a scattering of unrelated thoughts regarding this movie, which I’ll break down into three separate headings.

Main theme - being genuine

I really like the theme they pursue here. Molly calls out Cate on not being genuine or expressing herself. She is absent from her comedy, largely because she’s not even present in the writers’ room. To change this, Molly suggests an abortion joke and the other writers fight it, saying they steer clear of such political jokes, but Molly says Fuck That - express yourself, let the world see who you are, let them damn you and let them love you but make sure they know you.

So she does. She opens up to the world, and she connects with them in a way she has not done in a long time. And… she feels good. And opening up like that, connecting to people - it feels good for me. I want to be loved for who I am rather than tolerated because I am inobtrusive, and so I try to be genuine and open as I live my life.

A million to one - can you accept that ratio?

The movie presents an idea at one point that I want to discuss. Without giving away too much detail, one character says to another that one bad thing does not erase the million good experiences they have had together, and they say they are willing to live with that ratio.

The situation is a familiar one, but the sentiment isn’t. I’ve been told (probably deservedly) that I am too willing to cut people out for a few bad experiences and that I ignore all of the good experiences - but sometimes, I look at the ratio and it’s far less than a million to one. Is it even greater than one to one? Where are all these good experiences that I’m ignoring? Given how often this happens to me, I suppose I must just be erasing all the positive experiences from my memory.

But really, is the ratio ever a million to one? People can be so carelessly cruel to each other, and the little cuts accrue over time. Even if it is, can nothing be so bad as to wipe out a million good experiences? Am I unfair in giving more weight to the bad moments? I would argue these are the more honest experiences though - after all, saying “I love you” is quick and easy, but hatred requires time to fester and rot.

It seems to me that people are willing to spend so much time with those who have hurt them and continue to hurt them, and I refuse to let that be my life. But, at the other end of the spectrum, perhaps I am too quick to abandon my connections, especially over minor and imagined slights. I want to be able to look back and see all of the good and to cherish that, to be willing to weigh that with the bad and say yes, the good outweighs the bad, perhaps not because of any objective quantities but because I choose to give it more weight. And hopefully, I'll be humble enough to do that soon.

Diversity

I was in a lecture about diversity. When it came time for questions, one person said, “We see that diversity is linked with success for businesses, but is there actually causation? How do we know it’s not merely the case that more successful companies just tend to care more about diversity?”

And… the lecturer didn't know the answer. I’d go so far as to posit that we, as a collective social consciousness, do not know - but we still have people who take it to be axiomatic truth that diversity is good. Unfortunately, I would say that it’s wrong and even harmful to do so though - it weakens the validity of the claim when we neglect the reasoning behind it and just accept / proclaim it as truth.

In this particular regard, I would say Late Night is actually really egregious in its presentation of diversity. Catherine (through her untitled right-hand man, Brad) hires Molly solely to remedy the fact that her writing staff is entirely white and male, but the movie never really delves into how this situation arose in the first place. It briefly presents the idea that she “hates women,” but it drops the idea immediately. Seriously, why does she have such a monotonous writing staff? Is it internalized misogyny?1 Is it due to the systemic bias that favored white men before they even got there? The situation presents an opportunity to explore an answer, but it goes unanswered, leaving one with the problematic notion that maybe the best candidates were just white and male.

Another plot point where they attempt to address diversity is through their presentation of another comedian. His jokes are xenophobic and misogynistic and thus ‘obviously’ bad from the perspective of the movie’s intended audience, but they’re still funny to his intended audience (which is not an insignificant crowd). I think the film could have explored the notion of offensive humor, but it does very little with it besides note its existence, and I think that’s a shame.

And finally, let’s go over Molly’s status as a diversity hire. There is no question that she is one - the interview goes terribly, and she very evidently has no qualifications as a comedy writer, but Catherine tells Brad to “hire a woman already!” and so she is hired. And so, it’s hard to find it particularly offensive when various writers call her out on being a diversity hire, since we know she is one - and it’s really hard to support her in one instance when she stands up for herself and essentially claims she was the more qualified candidate and deserved the job. The movie tries to call out the patriarchy, but it fails to do so and instead actually makes a mockery of diversity, going against its intentions.

I think aiming for diversity is important, and I think it’s necessary that artists use their art to pursue important things. But I also think it is incredibly important that they do so responsibly, and I regrettably cannot say this was the case with Late Night.

I think internalized misogyny is a really interesting concept to explore. It is very counterintuitive and has a lot of nuance to it - from a character perspective, it also ties in very tightly to self-image. In fact, I’m exploring it with Kiri, the protagonist of my book. ↩︎

[ellahmacdermott]

Op Ed: There Is a Satoshi of Truth in Every Joke

This rather long meme, which has been circulating lately, makes fun of the views of Bitcoin supporters by listing commonly made statements and contrasting them with contradicting statements or developments.

This was obviously intended for humorous purposes, and as such, I should probably not take it too seriously.

But as the titular proverb goes, there is a grain of truth in every joke, and the existence of this image sheds light on what some people think. I found here an instructive opportunity to dissect the arguments and share my thoughts on them.

“Peer-to-peer electronic cash” vs. “Pushing people to spend is a scam”

The former is in the title of Bitcoin's white paper; the latter appeared in a presentation by Giacomo Zucco.

This a contentious issue in the Bitcoin community. I am of the opinion that spending Bitcoin is extremely important and should be encouraged. Others think it is unnecessary — or worse.

So in a way, I kind of agree with the image creator here.

However, one argument in favor of the latter statement is that the key word is not "spend" but rather "pushing." Even if spending Bitcoin is great, people should be free to do whatever they want, and pushing people to do anything could be frowned upon.

“In BTC bugs like this 'never' make it to production” vs. “CVE-2018-17144 is the biggest bug to date”

Never say never. Where there's smoke there's fire, and where there's code there are bugs. It should be obvious that anyone who said that critical bugs can never make it to production in Bitcoin was overly enthusiastic.

The only thing we can do is have a rigorous development and testing process that seeks to minimize the occurrence of critical bugs and to deal with such bugs effectively once they are discovered.

The fact that we haven't had a bug like this in the past five or eight or 10 years (opinions vary) speaks volumes about the effectiveness of this effort.

To drive the point further: The worst bug in the past eight years is one that was fixed before it managed to have any effect at all. This can be seen as a positive sign, and I wish all bugs were as benign.

This argument should not be seen as belittling the severity of CVE-2018-17144. It was very severe: It shouldn't have happened, the fact that it happened is a failure of the process, it undermines Bitcoin's path to mainstream adoption, and we should study how it happened and make changes to hopefully prevent bugs as severe from recurring in the future.

“Users have to be free to run the version they want” vs. “Upgrading to 0.16.3 is required”

I think the former statement is inaccurate. The correct statement, of course, is that users can run any version that is compliant with the protocol consensus rules. 0.16.2 is not compliant with the protocol, and thus nobody should run it.

It doesn't have to be 0.16.3, though. 0.15.2 and 0.14.3 are also compliant, as are versions of separate implementations.

“SegWit is optional, that's why we made it a soft fork” vs. “Upgrading to 0.16.3 is required”

I think the former statement mixes up a few notions.

Usage of SegWit transactions is optional. Someone who doesn't want to use this new feature can continue using Bitcoin just as she has so far. This is in contrast to changes that could modify or invalidate existing usage practices.

Compliance with the protocol rules that make up SegWit is not really optional. They are part of the consensus rules, and all nodes should be compliant. The fact that it's a soft fork doesn't change that.

What using a soft fork enables is graceful degradation. Using a non-SegWit node is far from ideal, but it does not cause the node to be immediately booted from the network. It can still understand most of what is going on in the network; in particular, those parts that are relevant to it (assuming it uses neither SegWit nor anyone-can-spend opcodes that were commandeered for SegWit).

This does not mean it makes sense for anyone to purposefully handicap themselves and use a version that specifically does not understand the entirety of the consensus rules.

But if one insists ... I guess he can also run pre-SegWit versions (or perhaps a new version that excises SegWit out), as long as they are not affected by CVE-2018-17144.

In addition, there is a big difference between forcing everyone to upgrade just because we want to add a new feature, and forcing everyone to upgrade because we have found a critical security bug.

And the kicker: If we do something like a hard fork, block-size increase, any non-upgraded node will be completely disconnected.

As for CVE-2018-17144: Even though the official requirement is to patch (and you should all do that!) if someone didn't get the memo and is still running an unpatched version, he should still be fine, as long as he waits for confirmations and almost all other nodes on the network are patched.

“There's no way to track the growth of LN (privacy!!!)” vs. “Lightning Network is growing strong”

The Lightning Network does have the potential to offer improved privacy over Bitcoin, but there are different levels of privacy. There is complete zero-knowledge where you don't know anything about what's going on, other than that it follows the protocol. You can have a system where you know the aggregate total of activity, but you can't match it to individual transactions or people. You can have a pseudonymous system where you know of all transactions, but the identity of the people involved is obfuscated. And many other variations.

With the standard way of using Lightning, you can know the number of channels and total amount of funds locked in them, but not necessarily the volume of payments done on it. So you can know that it is growing even without knowing a lot about what is going on in it.

Future usage patterns might make tracking growth harder, but not necessarily impossible.

“You need to run your own full node to help secure the network” vs. “The network is safe since all the miners have upgraded”

The former statement is a somewhat contentious topic; but it is important to distinguish what running a node does fo you from what it does for the network.

Running a node helps keep you secure, by guaranteeing that when you receive bitcoins you actually receive bitcoins, and that those bitcoins comply with the protocol you agree with.

As for how it helps the network, I wouldn't use the word "secure." What it does is add redundancy to the data and improve connectivity, in order to make it easier for other nodes to access it.

There is also a distinction between systemic and personal risk. If you didn't upgrade your own node, there is always the chance you will be fooled, but that is your own problem. But if an invalid transaction is being included in a block and accepted by major service providers, that is a risk to the integrity of the currency as a whole, which is much more severe.

Miners have a key role to play here, and, as long as a supermajority of miners are patched, the systemic risk is minimal.

“BTC is secure because it has the most accumulated hashrate” vs. “F*** those selfish egoist miners”

Miners are selfish and egoistic. And they should be. The system is based on an incentive mechanism that lets agents secure the network while seeking their own financial benefits. We should thank the miners for participating in this selfish way.

The only problem is when short-sighted greed causes some miners to act in a way that harms both themselves in the long run and also the network.

Anyway, one of the things that makes Bitcoin secure is indeed the large amounts of hashrate that (selfishly) rallies behind it.

“The ledger is immutable” vs. “In case of exploit the ledger would have been rolled back”

Here we get to the interesting part — which justifies a whole article on its own, so I'll be brief here.

The meaning of "the ledger is immutable" is that:

There are protocol rules that dictate which transactions are valid

The protocol rules will not be changed just for the purpose of invalidating some particular transactions that people don't like.

But that is not what is happening here. It's not like someone stole a private key and used it to sign a transaction that is contrary to the wishes of the original owner but is still perfectly protocol compliant ... and that we now wish to reverse it.

Instead, we found out that previous software versions failed at enforcing the protocol rules we all thought we were agreeing with. The default course of action (if there are indeed such invalid transactions) would be to simply run a patched version that enforces the rules more rigorously.

The problem is that such a move could basically invalidate all blocks since the first invalid transaction, which would be catastrophic. So it could be appropriate to tweak the consensus rules slightly to handle this move more gracefully.

The significant difference is that we are implementing a systemic protocol change to fix a systemic problem and not a systemic protocol change to fix an individual problem, as we've seen in some other cryptocurrencies.

“In Bitcoin code is law” vs. “Bitcoin is a social contract”

The latter statement is more correct.

There is a level in which code is indeed law. As long as everyone agrees on the protocol rules, what matters is the code that runs on every node on the network and mechanically enforces the rules; not any individual deciding which transactions to keep and which to throw away.

But who decides which code to run? Who decides the protocol rules? This is deferred to a higher authority: the social contract between people who use Bitcoin and give it value, known as the economic majority. Bitcoin is what people decide Bitcoin is.

“Bitcoin is valuable because of its network effect” vs. “Reducing total usage is a way to increase full node ratio”

The former statement is true, and we’ll be hard pressed to find anyone who disagrees. Currency is not something you can use by yourself; you can only use it if other people use it as well. So a strong network is necessary for Bitcoin to have value.

As for the latter, I have not previously heard of the concept "full node ratio," and there is hardly anyone who advocates for "reducing total usage," so I can't really comment on that. Indeed, the two statements seem to be at odds, and it is the former which is more sensible.

And as for that guy at the end of the meme who is so stressed out by the decision he has to make ...

There's no need for stress or anxiety. As long as we remember what Bitcoin is, why it's here, how it works and what the fundamental principles behind it are, we should be able to tackle any challenge that lies ahead.

 This is a guest post by Meni Rosenfeld. Views expressed are his own and do not necessarily reflect those of Bitcoin Magazine or BTC Inc. 

The meme he discusses was sourced from a Reddit post by user mtrycz. 

This article originally appeared on Bitcoin Magazine.

from InvestmentOpportunityInCryptocurrencies via Ella Macdermott on Inoreader https://bitcoinmagazine.com/articles/op-ed-there-grain-truth-every-joke/

[themindfulword]

CONFRONTING REALITY: Do the media, scientists and politicians misrepresent facts for financial gain?

t's been asserted that psychologists, psychiatrists and some therapists are … weird. I can't deny the kernel of truth within this statement. In fact, just this past week, my 18-year-old son Ryan brought his girlfriend over to the house to have dinner and watch a movie. As I came into the living area, Ryan said jokingly, “Nice reading material there, Dad, thought I would read some to Molly.” He was referring to the books and articles on the table that covered subjects such as sexually aggressive youth, adolescent psychopaths and violence, and finally, compassion and loving-kindness in psychotherapy. I replied sarcastically, “Well, how do you expect me to be normal when those subjects are part of my work?” While I was, of course, joking with my son, there was also a lot of truth in my statement. The truth is that working with certain clients has influenced the way I see the world. I no longer find it difficult to believe what behaviours some people—including high-profile individuals—engage in.

The art of lying

Consider the following quote by Adolf Hitler in Mein Kampf, regarding lies and propaganda:

Given the mass manipulation that Hitler was able to perpetrate on such a grand and deadly scale, perhaps we should pay heed to some of the methods he utilized. I believe it’s true that the vast majority of people don't fabricate colossal untruths and do, in fact, have a difficult time comprehending some of the falsehoods perpetrated by others. This is where my profession may give me a bit of an advantage. In my line of work, I frequently cross paths with individuals who engage in behaviours that would be unbelievable to some people. While working at one facility, a staff member very new to the employee population stated, “I didn’t think people really lived like this; I thought it was just in the movies!” That staff member didn’t make it too long in the field. Here’s what I can tell you about most intelligent psychopathic and/or narcissistic violent criminals—the vast majority will be caught due to dumb, careless mistakes. If they’re intelligent, why do they make dumb, careless mistakes? Well, they'll often make these mistakes due to their assumption and belief that others aren't intelligent enough to catch them. Some of these individuals actually take great pride in the extravagance of their lies and manipulations. The bigger and more blatant the lie, the more respect and status they receive. Fortunately, these individuals often become overly brazen and careless when committing their crimes. They begin to relax in their belief that no one will ever catch on to them, and that's often when they get caught! Few of us would like to think that we're the type of person Hitler referred to when he stated, “Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation.” Most of us like to believe that we're the type of person who examines the facts and comes to a logical, reasonable conclusion most of the time. We fully acknowledge that we may get it wrong sometimes—after all, we’re human and that’s part of being human—but for the most part, we believe we follow reason and facts the majority of the time.

A rationalizing animal

One of my favourite quotes is by psychologist Elliot Aronson, when he stated, "Dissonance theory does not rest upon the assumption that man is a rational animal; rather, it suggests that man is a rationalizing animal—that he attempts to appear rational, both to others and to himself." Ouch, so much for the rational, logical, reasonable argument! I personally believe that one of Sigmund Freud’s greatest contributions to our understanding of human beings was his insistence that the unconscious mind was the “primary guiding influence over daily life.” In other words, Freud was also stating that we humans aren't quite as rational and logical as we like to believe we are. Instead, according to Freud, most of us are controlled by unconscious internal forces that are mostly beyond our awareness. That statement should make you pause for a second and consider its implications. According to Freud, Aronson and many others, much of your behaviour is due to internal forces you're not even aware of. I believe there's a great deal of truth in that belief. If you practice mindfulness, these statements shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. As the great Buddhist teacher Atisa said, “The greatest precept is continual awareness. ... The greatest action is not conforming with the world’s ways. ... The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.” As practitioners of mindfulness, is it still possible for us to unknowingly become one of those Hitler spoke of? One of those who, even though presented with the facts that prove a lie, will still doubt and waver and continue to think there may be some other explanation? Are we simply too afraid to examine all the facts and come to a conclusion that makes us uncomfortable or threatens the way we prefer to see the world?

It's about money

In one of my most recent articles, I chose to write about the supposed “rape culture” that's present on college campuses. In the article, I discussed the distorted definition of “rape” the researchers used in a particular survey, as well as the actual number of students who completed that survey. Furthermore, the article also discussed how the ratio of one in four women being raped on college campuses was also used almost 30 years ago, and was heavily criticized back then for the use of poor and misleading research methods used to obtain it. However, certain organizations, back then, received over $30 million in federal grants to be used for educating people on, and fighting back against, the alleged rape culture. Would universities and researchers, along with the media, misrepresent the results of a survey to ensure that an estimated $489 million in federal grant money would go to these schools and programs? More importantly, would these individuals deceive parents and students into believing a falsehood for $489 million? Is it difficult for you to consider the possibility that the scientific community, the media and our political representatives perhaps misrepresented the facts for financial gain? In the article in which I discussed rape culture, I provided links to information that'll allow anyone to view the evidence for themselves. If, in reading this, you're not at all surprised that people would misrepresent research outcomes for $489 million in funding, what else are you willing to question? Where do you draw the line and for what reasons is the line drawn?

Upcoming article series

In the following series of articles, I intend to present the reader with information and evidence that'll likely challenge many of the accepted beliefs that are prominent in Western culture. Some of the subjects to be covered include psychology and science, along with politics, to a certain degree. In the first article, I'll present information regarding the current state of scientific research as it pertains to psychology and medicine. I'll discuss the concepts of “Evidence-Based Research” and “Evidence-Based Practice,” and examine if they're as evidence-based and scientifically formulated as their proponents lead people to believe. In reading the material, I ask that you mindfully examine your response to the information. Examine how you react to information and become aware of how you want to respond. Ask yourself if you're the person who, even though facts that prove a falsehood may be brought clearly to your mind, still doubts and wavers and continues to think there may be some other explanation. Our courage to question and resist does, in fact, influence the path our world chooses to follow. I encourage you to leave comments sharing your experience. images via Pixabay: The Thinker, Confrontation, Pinocchio, money Click to Post

[yahoo-roto-arcade-blog]

NL Tout recap: Seager, Schwarber, Arenado and the abandonment of a plan

Corey Seager, a foundational asset in fantasy. (Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty Images)

As a general rule, here’s the way these fantasy draft recaps are supposed to flow: First, the author describes a meticulously planned pre-draft strategy — perhaps branding it with a memorable acronym — then they detail the flawless execution of their approach in a recent league. And in conclusion, the expert offers a declaration of cautious confidence, inviting praise from readers.

It’s a classic fantasy chestnut.

[Sign up for Yahoo Fantasy Baseball | 2017 Player Rankings]

Today, I’d love nothing more than to slap together exactly that sort of review of my N.L. Tout Wars experience, except, um … I did not demonstrate great strategy discipline at Tout. Not at all. I veered away from my pre-auction plan as if it was radioactive — as if it was a betting tip from Brad Evans.

At 9:45 am, I entered the auction room intending to avoid the $25-and-over hitters and to spend at least 40 percent of my $260 budget on pitching. By 10:30, I had dropped $36 on Nolan Arenado. An hour later, I threw $29 at Corey Seager. At that point, I’d spent $109 on four bats and my pre-auction plan was cooked.

But here’s the thing with auctions: The most important principle by far is to acquire players at or below your prices, and to accumulate as much total value as possible. Ideally, you end up spending your $260 budget on a collection of players that you value at, say, $290 (or more). It’s fine to have a thoughtfully crafted plan, but it’s also important to recognize that the room may not accommodate you.

At Tout, when Clayton Kershaw went for $45 and Carlos Martinez for $26 and Gerritt Cole for $22, it became fairly clear that I wouldn’t land many upper-tier pitchers at my preferred prices. Thus, my money went elsewhere and the script was torched. So it goes.

Honestly, I have no idea what I could have been glaring at with such intensity. It’s like I’m trying to melt Tristan Cockcroft. (@ToutWars)

You can find full Tout auction results right here. Again, I’m involved in the N.L.-only league, so if you’re accustomed to playing mixed formats, you will absolutely hate every roster on the spreadsheet. It’s a 12-person group featuring 11 experts, plus Grey Albright of Razzball. (That’s a joke. Grey is a delight, a shrewd fantasy professional. Unstable, yes, but shrewd. A pageant of a man.) Our reigning champ is Todd Zola, an absolute legend. Tout Wars is a two-catcher league with 23 active roster spots, using OBP in place of batting average. We have a few additional non-Yahoo quirks in play, including a swing position that can be occupied by a hitter or pitcher. These are the full rules, for those interested. The N.L. auction went down on Sunday, March 26 at Rock & Reilly’s NYC, an excellent mega-pub and home to FNTSY Sports Network.

Here’s a look at the team I assembled, which is not at all the squad I’d intended to buy…

Bats C Matt Wieters WAS, $9 C Nick Hundley SF, $1 1B Travis Shaw MIL (also 3B), $9 3B Nolan Arenado COL, $36 CI Matt Adams STL, $4 2B Ryan Schimpf SD, $9 SS Corey Seager LAD, $29 MI Jose Peraza CIN (OF), $20 OF Kyle Schwarber CHC, $24

OK, let’s pause briefly to appreciate that $24 price on Schwarber, a top-of-the-order hitter with weapons-grade power.

When the #ToutWars room only makes you pay like 60 cents per HR for Schwarbs pic.twitter.com/96iqdeH9As

— Andy Behrens (@andybehrens) March 27, 2017

I truly love him, with my whole heart. If you don’t have any Schwarber shares in your portfolio, I would advise you to keep signing up for leagues until you land him.

Moving on…

OF Dexter Fowler STL, $20 OF Hernan Perez MIL (3B), $10 OF Alex Dickerson SD, $4 UT Chase Utley LAD, $1 BN Tommy La Stella CHC (3B) BN Jesse Winker CIN (OF) BN Brett Lawrie FA (2B)

Arenado is of course a category leader, having topped the league in both home runs and RBIs in each of the past two seasons. He reached base at a .362 clip last year while appearing in 160 games, and he’s still just 25 years old. Third base is a minefield in the N.L. in the lower tiers, so I’m happy to build around him. Similarly, Seager is miles ahead of the standard-issue N.L. shortstop, arguably in a tier of his own in this format.

I’ve already given you my pitch for Peraza and Perez, a pair of burners who should allow this team to compete in steals. Schimpf hit 20 bombs in just half a season for San Diego last year after slashing a ridiculous .355/.432/.729 in the PCL. He’s been a willing walker throughout his pro career, which gives him a value boost in OBP leagues.

Among the hitters I’d hoped to land but didn’t, the biggest regrets are Hunter Renfroe ($9), Roman Quinn ($3), Albert Almora ($6) and Keon Broxton ($19). If I’d managed to stick to the original plan, that might have been my outfield. Alas.

My pitching staff came in well under budget, by roughly $20…

Arms P Stephen Strasburg WAS, $22 P Kenley Jansen LAD, $22 P Matt Moore SF, $12 P Vincent Velasquez PHI, $12 P Fernando Rodney ARI, $8 P Blake Treinen WAS, $2 P Adam Conley MIA, $2 P Bartolo Colon ATL, $2 P Jimmy Nelson MIL, $1 P Hunter Strickland SF, $1 BN Josh Hader MIL

Stephen Strasburg, fragile fantasy ace. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Washington Nationals/Getty Images)

This group is so loaded with injury risk that you can tear a flexor tendon just looking at the names. By the end of May, I could be down to Bartolo, Fernando, Kenley and seven middle-relievers. It’s a concern. But as we’ve discussed before, I’m much more comfortable owning Strasburg in a rotisserie format like Tout, where his April innings count the same as those pitched in September. If he can simply reach 175-or-so IP and maintain his career ratios, he’ll earn $22. And if he somehow reaches Dalton Del Don’s blue-sky forecast, it’s a massive win. Here’s hoping. Strasburg is healthy at the moment, which counts for somethin’.

Saves shouldn’t be an issue for this team and, if Treinen can grab the ninth inning role in Washington (currently undecided), I’ll have a surplus from which to deal. In Tout, if you don’t buy your saves in March, you end up hemorrhaging FAAB resources throughout the season, speculating on lousy relievers. I’ve been there and have no interest in going back.

If Hader can force his way into Milwaukee’s dreadful rotation by June, that would certainly help my staff in no small way. Hader had a terrific spring, and the lefty struck out 161 batters in just 126.0 innings last year in the high minors. He’s a prospect of interest, worth monitoring in any format.

Ultimately, I was not unhappy with this year’s auction haul, despite scrapping my spending plan inside the first hour. I can’t really complain about any roster that includes this guy. Feel free to file plaudits or condemnation in comments. If you see a price you like or loathe, call it out. We’re workshopping my roster here, and no piece of thoughtful feedback will be refused.

—

Follow the Yahoo crew on Twitter: Andy Behrens, Dalton Del Don, Brad Evans, Brandon Funston, Liz Loza and Scott Pianowski

[themindfulword]

CONFRONTING REALITY: Do the “scientific community,

It's been asserted that psychologists, psychiatrists and some therapists are … weird. I can't deny the kernel of truth within this statement. In fact, just this past week, my 18-year-old son Ryan brought his girlfriend over to the house to have dinner and watch a movie. As I came into the living area, Ryan said jokingly, “Nice reading material there, Dad, thought I would read some to Molly.” He was referring to the books and articles on the table that covered subjects such as sexually aggressive youth, adolescent psychopaths and violence, and finally, compassion and loving-kindness in psychotherapy. I replied sarcastically, “Well, how do you expect me to be normal when those subjects are part of my work?” While I was, of course, joking with my son, there was also a lot of truth in my statement. The truth is that working with certain clients has influenced the way I see the world. I no longer find it difficult to believe what behaviours some people—including high-profile individuals—engage in.

The art of lying

Consider the following quote by Adolf Hitler in Mein Kampf, regarding lies and propaganda: All this was inspired by the principle—which is quite true within itself—that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods. It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying. Given the mass manipulation that Hitler was able to perpetrate on such a grand and deadly scale, perhaps we should pay heed to some of the methods he utilized. I believe it’s true that the vast majority of people don't fabricate colossal untruths and do, in fact, have a difficult time comprehending some of the falsehoods perpetrated by others. This is where my profession may give me a bit of an advantage. In my line of work, I frequently cross paths with individuals who engage in behaviours that would be unbelievable to some people. While working at one facility, a staff member very new to the employee population stated, “I didn’t think people really lived like this; I thought it was just in the movies!” That staff member didn’t make it too long in the field. Here’s what I can tell you about most intelligent psychopathic and/or narcissistic violent criminals—the vast majority will be caught due to dumb, careless mistakes. If they’re intelligent, why do they make dumb, careless mistakes? Well, they'll often make these mistakes due to their assumption and belief that others aren't intelligent enough to catch them. Some of these individuals actually take great pride in the extravagance of their lies and manipulations. The bigger and more blatant the lie, the more respect and status they receive. Fortunately, these individuals often become overly brazen and careless when committing their crimes. They begin to relax in their belief that no one will ever catch on to them, and that's often when they get caught! Few of us would like to think that we're the type of person Hitler referred to when he stated, “Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation.” Most of us like to believe that we're the type of person who examines the facts and comes to a logical, reasonable conclusion most of the time. We fully acknowledge that we may get it wrong sometimes—after all, we’re human and that’s part of being human—but for the most part, we believe we follow reason and facts the majority of the time.

A rationalizing animal

One of my favourite quotes is by psychologist Elliot Aronson, when he stated, "Dissonance theory does not rest upon the assumption that man is a rational animal; rather, it suggests that man is a rationalizing animal—that he attempts to appear rational, both to others and to himself." Ouch, so much for the rational, logical, reasonable argument! I personally believe that one of Sigmund Freud’s greatest contributions to our understanding of human beings was his insistence that the unconscious mind was the “primary guiding influence over daily life.” In other words, Freud was also stating that we humans aren't quite as rational and logical as we like to believe we are. Instead, according to Freud, most of us are controlled by unconscious internal forces that are mostly beyond our awareness. That statement should make you pause for a second and consider its implications. According to Freud, Aronson and many others, much of your behaviour is due to internal forces you're not even aware of. I believe there's a great deal of truth in that belief. If you practice mindfulness, these statements shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. As the great Buddhist teacher Atisa said, “The greatest precept is continual awareness. ... The greatest action is not conforming with the world’s ways. ... The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.” As practitioners of mindfulness, is it still possible for us to unknowingly become one of those Hitler spoke of? One of those who, even though presented with the facts that prove a lie, will still doubt and waver and continue to think there may be some other explanation? Are we simply too afraid to examine all the facts and come to a conclusion that makes us uncomfortable or threatens the way we prefer to see the world?

It's about money

In one of my most recent articles, I chose to write about the supposed “rape culture” that's present on college campuses. In the article, I discussed the distorted definition of “rape” the researchers used in a particular survey, as well as the actual number of students who completed that survey. Furthermore, the article also discussed how the ratio of one in four women being raped on college campuses was also used almost 30 years ago, and was heavily criticized back then for the use of poor and misleading research methods used to obtain it. However, certain organizations, back then, received over $30 million in federal grants to be used for educating people on, and fighting back against, the alleged rape culture. Would universities and researchers, along with the media, misrepresent the results of a survey to ensure that an estimated $489 million in federal grant money would go to these schools and programs? More importantly, would these individuals deceive parents and students into believing a falsehood for $489 million? Is it difficult for you to consider the possibility that the “scientific community,” the media and our political representatives perhaps misrepresented the facts for financial gain? In the article in which I discussed rape culture, I provided links to information that'll allow anyone to view the evidence for themselves. If, in reading this, you're not at all surprised that people would misrepresent research outcomes for $489 million in funding, what else are you willing to question? Where do you draw the line and for what reasons is the line drawn?

Upcoming article series

In the following series of articles, I intend to present the reader with information and evidence that'll likely challenge many of the accepted beliefs that are prominent in Western culture. Some of the subjects to be covered include psychology and science, along with politics, to a certain degree. In the first article, I'll present information regarding the current state of scientific research as it pertains to psychology and medicine. I'll discuss the concepts of “Evidence-Based Research” and “Evidence-Based Practice,” and examine if they're as evidence-based and scientifically formulated as their proponents lead people to believe. In reading the material, I ask that you mindfully examine your response to the information. Examine how you react to information and become aware of how you want to respond. Ask yourself if you're the person who, even though facts that prove a falsehood may be brought clearly to your mind, still doubts and wavers and continues to think there may be some other explanation. Our courage to question and resist does, in fact, influence the path our world chooses to follow. I encourage you to leave comments sharing your experience. «RELATED READ» SKEPTICISM: Question everything and transform your life» images via Pixabay - The Thinker, Confrontation, Pinocchio, money Click to Post